The Blubber Blob

Over a Year

2012-01-09T11:28:00.000-08:00

It has been over a Year since my last post in regards to my Health. Who want's to be Healthy, right?

It's the new Year, and everyone has their "resolutions"

- most will aspire to shed those unwanted, unhealthy pounds. I am planning on doing this, but probably not until March. Not until all of the Hype slows down about how you should be exercising an hour or more a day in order to burn off those calories... The gyms are packed with people that have "resolved" to make a change. (see all those people - though, this is not my gym - mine looks like this though... )

I am not going to be one of them - yet.

Instead, I am working on slowly adjusting my diet. I had done the HCG Diet with fantastic results. UNTIL - I let everything go and started eating like a madwoman again.

No... this is not me - but doesn't she look like a madwoman?

I am back to where I was when I stared the HCG diet over a year and a half ago. (Took me a while to get here, but I finally made it again!) I did notice - that scale has GOT to be wrong. There is no way that those legs belong to a 126lb woman - or man with lovely toes. Not happening.

I just see this picture and cringe. I think - that must be what I look like somewhere on a machine. Though, I don't have as many rolls and curves as the person to the right of the image, I am not as trim and thin as the one on the left. I am somewhere in the middle of Healthy and really not that healthy. I physically imagine that I feel like the woman on the Right - and yet my soul feels like the woman on the left.

So, why not get started right now?

It's not like I don't have time! But it's that whole Gym thing again. I see so many people and I think - just wait your turn. So, instead I am going to start eating better. I started doing this by researching and taking the right vitamins. I started drinking my vitamins - Beyond Tangy Tangerine -

Seems like a great plan, right? Start getting healthy on the inside - work on my diet (which part of weightloss is the actual eating of things that are good for you, right?) Take my vitamins and minerals each day... and then, start to work out a little later. I can say that just with the vitamins since the beginning of the year, I no longer "CRAVE" certain foods. I don't crave french fries and chocolate as much. I don't feel like I NEED to eat - and this alone has lost me 3 lbs in the last week.

So, what if that is it? What if we crave food because our body is not getting the nutrients that it truly needs. We feed it, and it still craves, so we eat more? A vicious cycle if you ask me. Maybe this vitamin thing really will work. I say that My vitamin is better than your

any day - and if you want to order it - you can through this site... http://whythetruth.youngevity.org/

LOOK At all the vitamins and Minerals in mine - then compare it to yours... then give it a shot - (Yeah, you can blow up the picture)

After the Cruise

2010-10-01T08:43:00.000-07:00

I just thought that I would announce that after the cruise, I only gained 4lbs. Yeah - 5 if you want to round up, but still... no the 10 - 20 that I was hoping for. (Kidding). I start round 2 of HCG on the 15th of October... Guess I will let you know how it goes. :)

BTW - this morning...

2010-08-20T06:28:00.003-07:00

After my "Apple Day" - I lost a whole lb again. BUT, better than all of that - I am measuring at 37.50 inches around the middle - WOOT! I started at 42 inches around the middle! So, that is a result that I can live with ! YAY! :) Just wanted to share.

2010-08-19T15:27:00.000-07:00

Hmmm - HCG - I have lost more than 10 pounds with you in less than 2 weeks - (there was a slight delay with my average loss over the last few days, but I think that I have it under control now) - Oooh, Why must you work so well, when I eat so little? Don't you know that I love food? LOVE IT - and you are interfering with my "less chubby for the cruise" goal! My swim suit is happy - My Jeans are Happy - but my stomach is not happy. You better be happy I am keeping you around a little longer - if it wasn't for your darn good results I would have sworn you off last weekend when there was candy to be had at the theater - I think that my slow down was due to my body smelling things and just holding on to the Esters and absorbing the delicious fatty smells. But I want delicious bread! I long for a piece of pie! CHIPS! DANGIT - I WANT THEM! So, I'll have a few more drops of you and find a way to distract myself from the temptations that are paving the road ahead... glad to be done with you before the cruise - wouldn't know WHAT to do if I was on this diet THEN...

2010-08-08T16:59:00.000-07:00

OK - I'm going for it -
I bought the bottle - and I've started binge eating - well, kind of - they call it... LOADING - I'm just loading away over here. Tonight is my last loading night - then tomorrow, the big guns come out. Tomorrow - I will be cutting back as much as I can - but I still have no idea what I am really going to eat... but I guess as long as it has no sugar and it's got good protein but not a lot of carbs, I should be good. If I get something weird like the rats that tried Phen Phen , at least I won't be alone... right?!? :) I'll keep you updated. :)

Still not where I want to be

2010-06-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

It's been three days... THREE... see? Count them. Three days that I have been working out - and I am just past the 180 mark - below of course, but still ... BLEH. Not where I want to be at all...

There are personal issues in my way right now - and , well, I am just retaining things over it. It SUCKS.

Is June too late??

2010-06-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

I know that everyone is on this HCG thing - Seems like this phase that everyone want to go through - like South Beach, or Atkins. I know about 9 people that are doing this right now, and I just cannot bring myself to it - So, back to the gym I went.

Today I worked out - yeah - on a machine. The bigger questions is not whether I can or cannot do it - but whether or not I can do it before the cruise?

Guess we will have to see... :)

I get depressed sometimes... BUT

2010-04-02T09:26:00.001-07:00

Exercise Improves Depression

The idea that regular exercise can improve symptoms of depression and anxiety has been around for thousands of years. If you suffer from major depression, exercise probably won't be the only treatment you'll need, but it will help along with your treatment plan. Working out can enhance the benefits of antidepressant medications, and even produce similar results. But while medication and psychotherapy can take weeks to work, you can start feeling the positive effects of exercise right away.

Research shows that exercise:

Positively effects the same neurotransmitters that antidepressant medications target
Produces feel-good brain chemicals called "endorphins," which promote the sense of well-being and satisfaction
Releases tension in muscles that contributes to depression-related soreness and insomnia
Reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, relieving feelings of anxiety and agitation
Raises body temperature, which appears to have calming effects

Exercise can also promote the following psychological and emotional changes:

Distraction. Exercise compels you to focus on something besides your troubles for a little while, helping you find pleasure.
Confidence. By meeting a goal, like a small amount of exercise each day, you can begin to rebuild confidence and self-esteem.
Self-respect. Taking the time to do something positive to help yourself every day can help you reconnect with the part of you that wants to be healthy and productive.

The shape of SHAPE

2010-02-21T15:57:00.000-08:00

So, this is my analogy of how I have been feeling... I am getting SHAPE - I don't notice it like I want to yet. But I no longer feel like the blob that I had become. I can tell some difference, not just because of the weight and the measuring, but the lack of craving sweets all the time - yeah, that is a BIG one for me. Or how about instead of ordering 2 sandwiches at McDonalds, I can actually stick with one, and I don't usually even eat the whole meal. I don't need to "Biggie" size it anymore to feel like I am getting enough to eat, and that, my friends, is so worth it. So, The Blob represents how I had been feeling for the longest time.

Now, I am no Pixie yet - not by any means. I am still full of blubber and flubber, like the lovely shark. But I am getting aggressive. I can move without being winded, and I can move faster each day that I exercise. Instead of not being defined, I am seeing fins, and working limbs that help me to accomplish what I am hoping to. Right now, I am the shark - and I have SHAPE.

But, I am going for the strong, straight back - the shapely legs, the tone - non-flabariffic body type. And I think that I can see it just under the surface. I am averaging about 2.25 lbs of weightloss each week and soon I should be tone and flexible like I have been imaging. I like what I am seeing and I am glad to be driven to do this. I am glad for the change to a healthier lifestyle, and I am glad that my sweetie is on board as well. So, one day, I should have the shape above - firm, tone, solid. Good luck to you all in your weightloss goals!! I so wish you the best. A

Some More Showdowns for you all!

2010-02-19T06:07:00.000-08:00

Domino's Pepperoni Feast (Crunchy Thin Crust, 1 slice from 12-inch)

Domino's Deluxe Feast (Crunchy Thin Crust, 1 slice from 12-inch)

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Domino's pepperoni & deluxe pizzas
Who doesn't love pizza? Each person in America eats an average of 46 slices (23 pounds) of pizza per year! (Source: Packaged Facts, New York.) Our most popular topping is pepperoni, of course--an ingredient in both of these options from Domino's. Thin crust pizzas usually contain fewer calories and fat grams than hand-tossed or deep dish pizzas, as is the case here. Their Pepperoni Feast isn't called a "feast" for nothing, with all its extra layers of pepperoni and cheese. While the Deluxe Feast includes pepperoni as well, it's also topped with Italian sausage, green peppers, mushrooms and onions. So which is lower in calories and fat--extra pepperoni, or pepperoni with sausage?


		The Lower-Cal Winner Domino's Deluxe Feast

You may be surprised that a pizza with two fatty meats could win the fat and calorie battle, but it's true. One slice of Domino's Deluxe Feast pizza is worth 185 calories and 11.5 grams of fat. It's also lower on the sodium scale (449 mg). Due to all the toppings on this pizza, you actually get much less pepperoni (and sausage), while the Pepperoni Feast is covered in the stuff. This might explain while one slice packs 216 calories, 14 grams of fat and 577 milligrams of sodium--and that is the lower-calorie Thin-Crust variety. Order thicker crusts and the numbers only climb from there. If you want your pepperoni without all the extra fat, order the Pepperoni (not to be confused with "Pepperoni Feast") Thin Crust pizza. One slice from a 12-inch pie will set you back fewer calories (174) and fat grams (10.5) than both of these options.

Now - what about....

Long John Silver's Parmesan Fish Bites Snack Box (with Tartar Sauce)

Long John Silver's Popcorn Shrimp Snack Box (with Cocktail Sauce)

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Which seafood snack won't add to your pirate booty?
Arrr, matey! When you are craving a seafood treasure, Long John Silver's is the place to be. Here are two "Snack Box" choices, weighing in at four ounces each. Although deep-fried, you can steer your ship with the one hand while popping these bite-size beauties with the other. You can avoid walking the plank by picking the lower-fat winner. Is it LJS's Parmesan Fish Bites with Tartarrr sauce or their Popcorn Shrimp in Cocktail sauce?


		The Lower-Fat Winner Long John Silver's Popcorn Shrimp Snack Box (with Cocktail Sauce)

If you chose the Popcorn Shrimp and Cocktail Sauce, then you found the real treasure! This snack combo contains a modest 295 calories, 16 grams of fat (still 25% of your daily value) and 4 grams of saturated fat. When it comes to food that's fried and fast, this isn't so bad. The Parmesan Fish Bites are higher calories and fat: 360 calories, 24 grams of fat (37% of your daily value) and 5 grams of saturated fat. Shiver me timbers! You can make any of Long John Silver's meals healthier by skimping on the tartar sauce--or skipping it altogether. This high-calorie condiment contains 100 calories and 9 fat grams per serving. Cocktail sauce is always a better choice, with zero grams of fat and only 25 calories.

What about the next one??!?!

Cold Stone Creamery "At the Cocoa Banana Cabana" (Like It size)

Dairy Queen Banana Split Blizzard (small)

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You'll go bananas for these frozen treats
If you like bananas and ice cream, then you'll love both of these frozen concoctions. Dairy Queen's famous blizzards combine that original DQ soft serve with almost any treat you can imagine. In this case, you'll get all the ingredients of a classic banana split, blended up with vanilla soft serve. A similar treat from Cold Stone is the "At the Cocoa Banana Cabana" which includes banana ice cream, mixed with yellow cake, fresh banana, fudge and whipped cream. Both of these sizes represent the smallest sizes available at each location. Make your pick for the banana treat with 200 fewer calories and less fat.


		The Low-Cal Winner Dairy Queen Banana Split Blizzard (small)

DQ wins this round. Their small Banana Split Blizzard contains 460 calories, 14 grams of fat, and 9 grams of saturated fat. Compared to Cold Stone's treat, these two aren't even in the same ballpark. "At the Cocoa Banana Cabana" packs 660 calories, 29.5 grams of fat (46% of your daily value) and over 100% of your daily limit for saturated fat (20 grams). This treat will have you going bananas...but not in a good way. Remember, saturated fat should make up no more than 10% of your calories, so if you eat less than 2,000 calories daily, you'll want even less than the standard 20-25 grams. A few other DQ treats that are a little more diet-friendly include novelties such as the DQ Sandwich (200 calories), Starkiss (80 calories), a small chocolate cone (240 calories), and DQ's Fudge Bar (50 calories).

And the ever reliable omelet ??

Bob Evans Three Cheese Omelet

Denny's Veggie-Cheese Omelet

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Which cheese omelet should you order?
Eggs have gotten a bad rap in the past because they're high in cholesterol. But we know now that eggs can be part of a healthy diet and some research even shows that it's safe to consume up to one egg daily if the rest of your diet is low in cholesterol. Here are two simple omelets from two similar restaurants. Bob Evans Three Cheese Omelet contains three eggs and a combination of American, cheddar, and Monterey Jack cheeses. Denny's Veggie-Cheese Omelet also contains three eggs. This omelet is also filled with onions, peppers, mushrooms and tomatoes. Can you order up the lower-calorie (and lower-fat) cheese omelet?


		The Low-Cal Winner Denny's Veggie-Cheese Omelet

Even with very similar ingredients, these two omelets vary greatly in nutrition. Denny's Veggie Cheese Omelet is lower in calories (494), and fat (39 grams, which is still high) and saturated fat (12 grams). This is likely because it contains less cheese than Bob Evans Three Cheese Omelet, which adds three kinds of fatty cheese without the nutritional boost of any veggies. Bob Evans' omelet contains 771 calories and 67 grams of fat, and twice the saturated fat (24 grams). Eggs can be healthy, but how they are prepared, the number that you eat, and the fixings that are added will all affect their make-up in the end. Both of these restaurants will make your eggs or omelets with Egg Beaters upon request. Denny's Veggie Cheese Omelet with Egg Beaters contains more than 100 fewer calories (346), and much less fat (22 grams, 7 grams saturated). Even Bob Evans Three Cheese Omelet can be improved to 536 calories, 45 grams of fat, and 19 grams of saturated fat when Egg Beaters are used. Also ask about using egg whites whenever possible.

Quick Block of Healthy Reflections:

2010-02-18T20:19:00.000-08:00

For sound sleep, no pillow is as soft as a clean conscience.
- Anonymous

Are you getting the best night's sleep possible?
Many people have difficulty getting a good night's rest. Sleep plays a crucial role in your health and well-being. Often we lose sleep because our minds are preoccupied with going over the day's events or planning for future ones. If you have problems sleeping, try creating a journal. Write out your worries and fears about what is happening in your life. Are you considering a career change? Are your in-laws coming for a visit? Do you have a strained relationship with someone? Allow your thoughts to flow out honestly to better prepare for a good night's rest.

**My Contribution to this** Remember that Early to bed, Early to Rise makes the man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Typically I do not journal in a written journal anymore, but Leaving everything by my bedside at night and just clearing out the brain - well, that's been really helpful. I love to sleep. I used to LIVE to sleep.. but not since I've found a love for the exercise.

A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight.
- V. Borge

The power of a positive face
Have you ever contemplated how much a smile can change a person's day? Both the person who smiles and the one who sees it are positively impacted by such a small act. This seemingly tiny reflex can perk up a bad attitude, make you seem more warm and inviting, and often pass some happiness on to others. So the next time your alarm goes off for your 5 a.m. run or your dog barks in the middle of the night, smile instead of grumbling. You'd be surprised how a positive face can in turn become a positive and motivational attitude!

**My Contribution to this** It Works!! No really, I'll be having a rotten day at work and lo' a little smile. A crack of a joke, and I am back to feeling pretty spiffy again. I can usually let go of a lot of stress with a little joke and a smile. It's a little harder with the alarm clock - after all, I do LOVE my sleep.

Adversity and loss make a man wise.
- Welsh Proverb

Victory over Trials
The need to weather hard times is constantly part of our business and personal lives. Do you ever think of these hurdles in a positive light? The next time you are faced with opposition, instead of looking at it as a source of anxiety, view it as an opportunity! Can you apply what you have learned to other areas of your life? Will this experience make you stronger and wiser next time around? Sometimes the worst and most painful experiences are the ones that help us grow the most. Having a positive attitude can deflate even the scariest situation. Overcoming adversity can help you achieve the extraordinary!

**My Contribution to this** Though it's hard to recognize the good in the trial at the time it's occurring, this would be a great skill to enhance for those of us that are a little bit more pessimistic than we really should be.

The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.
- Albert Ellis

Do you accept responsibility for your choices in life?.
Do you feel in control of your life? No matter how negative events or actions may become, you are the only force that is able to determine the reaction. Often we fail to do this and instead blame the world for our feelings of sadness, rejection, and hopelessness. The reality is that your actions are a choice, and you must claim those feelings and choices. We can be our best cheerleader or worst enemy when it comes to determining the health of our emotions. Do some pep talks with yourself each morning. This will help you develop positive, self-affirming thoughts that will enhance your personal development and growth.

**My Contribution to this** - Since joining SparkPeople I do a 5 minute pep talk daily. This (At first) made me feel like I was pompous, cocky... but after a while I started to realize that the more pep talks I had with myself the better prepared I was to go out and face the world as me. I am starting to love myself even more - even though the weight changes are taking longer than I would prefer.

Don't be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of.
- Charles Richards

Pencil in some face time with yourself
Millions of people use organizers, palm pilots, calendars, personal assistants, sticky notes, and date books to help them manage their busy lives. Do you allow these organizers to rule your life? Do you allow space for personal time? Often we micro-manage our lives and schedule our time so much that it comes at the price of our own freedom. Instead of scheduling another meeting with your co-workers, schedule one with yourself. Make the most of today because tomorrow is never guaranteed.

**My Contribution to this** I have a planner - but it's slowly becoming more of a "reminder" book - I used to be religious when it came to planning things out and making sure that the schedule was met. Now I am finding that I have more time to myself when I don't plan out everything and just have an idea of how things are to progress.

A little bit of Family advice... take it or leave it. . .

2010-02-18T11:04:00.000-08:00

So, I know that I go overboard with the Spark Info that you all are Getting - or maybe I am just keeping it here for future reference - who knows. What I do know is that I enjoy the tidbits - however, I don't post them the way that I should. So, I am joining many of them together in one long read so you can learn something new if you like. I have found that the additional information has been so helpful for the goals that I have set for myself. And even if I don't agree with what they send, it is still good to have an open mind and see what other ideas people have come up with for helping attain these goals. So, the following are things that were sent to me regarding the family health and wellness. Feel free to read the advice and either take it or leave it. And HUGS to all of you - good luck with your goals!

Walnuts are Health Nuts

Walnuts are a rich source of omega-3 fatty acids, which are essential to brain and heart health. However, 60% of Americans are deficient in Omega-3 fatty acids, and 20% of the population has levels so low that tests cannot even detect any in their blood, according to the George Matelian Foundation.

Omega-3's are important for everyone, including your kids as they continue to grow and develop. Women who eat walnuts while pregnant and breastfeeding provide these benefits to their babies too. Just a quarter cup of walnuts contains over 90% of your daily omega-3 requirements. Roasting or heating walnuts diminishes their benefits, so here are some ideas to enjoy them raw:

1. Top yogurt with crushed walnuts
2. Add them to stir fries just before serving
3. Sprinkle them on a salad with dried cranberries
4. Blend them with cooked lentils, garlic, olive oil, lemon juice and salt to make a hummus-like dip.

Trade-In the Family Car for a Refreshing Walk

The car is a wonderful invention, giving us power, convenience, and connection to family and friends that we otherwise wouldn't have. We master great distances on a daily basis, for work and play.

Despite the fact that half of all trips in urban areas are three miles or less (41 percent are two miles or less) and that several recent polls have found that a majority of Americans would like to bike and walk more, statistics show our rate of walking has dropped by 42 percent over the past 20 years! With the number of overweight Americans increasing by 40 percent over that same time period, you don't have to do sophisticated calculations to guess that there might be some link.

The health benefits of even moderate walking and biking (20-30 minutes, four times per week) are well documented. Both reduce stress, as well as heart disease, diabetes, osteoporosis, stroke, and breast or colon cancer. At the very least, both make you stronger, better looking and--best of all--more aerobically fit. Remember these tips next time you want to drive to your destination:

Walking and biking really are fun! As with many things that are good for you, walking and biking are also enjoyable--but you have to get there to remember that. Your kids will have a wonderful time racing each other, poking in the creek, enjoying conversations, and savoring the sunshine and fresh air.

No matter where you live, you can park the car sometimes. The only real variable in the equation is you. Working at fitness requires a conscious effort. It's tempting to always hop in the car. Get in the habit of asking yourself, on a regular basis, whether you can make a short trip without taking along several tons of steel.

There's no getting around it--navigating your way through life often requires a car. But when it doesn't, try steering a new course, one that's not only healthier but also more enjoyable!

Help Your Kids Develop Healthy Habits

According to the American Heart Association (AHA), adults and kids are both at risk for heart disease, stroke and other cardiovascular diseases. But kids also look to their parents to help them learn to be healthy. If you're not sure how to help your family live a healthier life, follow these tips, developed by the AHA.

Be a positive role model. Your kids look up to you and learn from your actions. Why should they limit TV time or eat more fruit if you do the opposite? What's good for your kids is also good for you, so change your habits together.
Get the whole family active. Exercise and physical activity benefit everyone in your family--young, small (and furry!). If you need more ideas for keeping the whole family active, check out the weekly Family Fitness Tips in this daily email.
Limit TV, video game and computer time.Research shows that the more hours children and adults spend doing these activities, the more likely they are to be overweight or obese. Find physical activities that spark your child's interests.
Customize physical activities. Not every child dreams of being the next Michael Jordan. Some kids are even considered "non-athletes" because sports don't come naturally to them and they're not competitive. There are many forms of exercise besides sports, whether it's outdoor games, swimming, dancing, geocaching, or cycling.
Be supportive. Celebrate the successes of your child, whether they helped their team win a game or rode their bike longer. Focusing on the positive will help promote your child's self-esteem and confidence.

For more tips for parents, visit www.AmericanHeart.org.

Just Say No to White Bread

Fiber is one of the easiest nutrients to incorporate into your diet, and one of the most important. However, many Americans don't reach their much-needed daily requirements for a healthy diet. Adults need 25 to 30 grams daily. Generally, children under 18 years require less. Using the "age plus five" rule will help you determine your child's needs. For example, a 5-year-old would need 10 grams daily (5 + 5 = 10), and a 10-year-old would need 15 grams (10 + 5 = 15).

Insufficient fiber intake can increase your risk for many health problems, including constipation, high cholesterol, weight gain, irritable bowel syndrome, and even cancer of the colon. Here are more fiber-rich tips:

Replace your white bread with whole wheat bread.
Many types of bread are packed with fiber--after all, just ½ cup of whole wheat flour packs more than 7 grams. Look for the words "whole wheat" at the top of the ingredients list, but remember to read those nutritional labels carefully. Just because a loaf of bread claims to be "whole grain" or "wheat" doesn't mean it includes a healthy dose of fiber in the package. Many of those eye-catching labels will reveal only 1 gram of dietary fiber, meaning that the bread is made mostly from white flour, not whole wheat.

Did you know about Fat??

2010-02-18T08:05:00.000-08:00

Body Fat Measurements
Body composition. We hear a lot about it... but what exactly is it? Well, to be considered "fit," you have to meet minimum standards in 5 different areas, known as the Components of Fitness. Body Composition is one of them (in addition to flexibility, muscular strength, muscular endurance, and aerobic fitness). Body composition itself deals with four areas: weight, fat mass, lean mass, and fat distribution.

Fat Mass is usually referred to as body fat percentage. This number tells you how much of your total body weight is actual fat. Men and women go by different minimums and healthy ranges of fat (about 15% for men and 25% for women). For example, men need about 3%-5% essential fat at the lowest levels, whereas women need at least 12%-15% to be considered healthy and be able to sustain a menstrual cycle (and numbers this low could be considered underweight). A standard height and weight chart cannot accurately tell you if you are overweight, but body fat percentage, on the other hand, can.

Track your progress: Observing changes in body fat is the best way to measure "weight" loss. There are user-friendly formulas that can estimate your body fat percentage, but the most accurate readings come from a qualified fitness professional. To see a trend, reassess your body fat every four to six weeks.

Time Involved: A couple of minutes

Body Benefit: Know your true status and disease risk

Measure Progress Without The Scale

SparkPeople's Reference Guide to Body Composition

So, if you all have not noticed- I love this site. Even if I am not losing weight I am finding that I am gaining shape, endurance, definition, and I love it. And this site has been a real help to me as far as motivation and learning what things to look for. I have been very impressed with the support that I have gotten here too. If you lurk on my page and you have not signed up for Spark People - do it! Get your butt over there and do it now!!

Every Parent should have a little extra "Know"

2010-02-15T06:46:00.000-08:00

Caring for the Student's Mind & Body

For college and high school students, fall brings a lot of activity. Between fun stuff (like football games, parties, and dances) and difficult tasks (like midterms and research papers), it may seem like your kids don't have a lot of time left to exercise and eat right. It is not uncommon for students to let their health slide. Before you know it, it's January 1st and your young adult is trying to figure out how to lose 20 pounds before going on Spring Break!

There is a better way to do this. By establishing some simple, healthy nutrition and fitness habits, you can help your older children avoid gaining weight and have more energy for school and everything else.

On the nutrition side, encourage your kids to make the right choices, such as:

Enjoying a good breakfast for all-day energy and fewer cravings later.
Eating fruit or nuts (instead of pizza or potato chips) for late-night study snacks. If you or your teen can prepare snacks ahead of time, they'll be less likely to resort to unhealthy fast food when in a pinch. Choosing healthier foods will stabilize their energy levels throughout the day (and night).
Drinking plenty of water to help the body remove waste and reduce hunger. Encourage your student to keep a water bottle with him all day and drink that in class instead of high-calorie drinks like soda.

If your children practice healthy habits more often, they'll have plenty of energy and less of the stress that comes with school. High school and college are times when healthy habits are made, so encourage them to put forth effort now and reap the benefits of a healthy lifestyle for the rest of their lives!

Chick-fil-A in a showdown....

2010-02-14T20:44:00.000-08:00

Chick-fil-A Nuggets (8-pack)

Chick-fil-A Chicken Salad Sandwich

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Which Chick-fil-A option will keep you full longer?
You've been driving all day and you're hungry. When you finally stop for gas, you know that you have limited healthy choices in the convenience shop. Luckily this gas station is also paired with a Chick-fil-A restaurant, which definitely gives you some hotter, fresher options than the who-knows-how-old-it-is chicken salad sandwich in the mini mart. Since you've been trying to limit your fast food intake lately, you want to grab something quick and relatively healthy. Chick-fil-A's Nuggets are quick and easy, plus you get 8 whole pieces, which are packed with filling protein. Or you can try their Chicken Salad Sandwich, which comes on wheat bread. Which "snack" from Chick-fil-A will give you the full tummy you need without filling out your waistline?


		The Filling Winner Chick-fil-A Chicken Salad Sandwich

Fiber is a filling nutrient that's also good for your health. Chick-fil-A's Chicken Salad Sandwich boasts a surprising 5 grams of fiber (that's 20% of your daily value) and 20 grams of protein in a tasty 350-calorie package. While this option is higher in calories than the Nuggets (260 calories), it'll probably keep you fuller longer. The Nuggets have less than 1 gram of fiber and are about equal in protein grams. Another reason that the Sandwich makes a good choice is its lower sodium content--880 milligrams compared to the Nuggets' 1,090. If you want a smaller snack, Chick-fil-A also offers healthy options like Carrot & Raisin Salad (170 calories, 6 grams fat), a medium Fruit Cup (70 calories, zero grams fat), and Hearty Breast of Chicken Soup (140 calories, 3.5 grams fat).

Living and Learning are the same??

2010-02-14T18:00:00.000-08:00

There is no difference between living and learning...it is impossible and misleading and harmful to think of them as being separate.
- John Holt, author

Insight into learning Every season in life is full of learning experiences. One step leads to the next and we can draw on the past and walk confidently through trials as our wisdom grows. Our thoughts eventually turn into our habits, which determine where our lives go. Put your dreams in capable hands--your own. Don't let the "wisdom of the world" become the internal voice that guides you. What has your own life taught you? What experiences have brought you to where you are now? Think about what it takes to overcome the roadblocks in your life. What skills do you need in order to achieve you goals? Take a writing class to jumpstart the book you've always wanted to write. Shadow a friend who knows how to sew, or research a trip to the country you have longed to visit. The common denominator for all successful people is having the right tools to realize their goals.

What does 300 Calories Look Like?? (Article from Sparkpeople)

2010-02-14T03:50:00.000-08:00

Quality and quantity often face off in the battle of the bulge.

Do you choose the smaller, more calorie-dense meal or the larger, less calorie-dense meal?

Do you splurge on a cupcake or stick with your snack of yogurt, granola and berries?

What if we told you that you didn't have to choose? You can have it all--a filling, healthy meal--for only 300 calories! Wonder what 300 calories looks like? 300 calories look drastically different when you're eating in instead of dining out. Check out these 18 meal comparisons to see for yourself,

Breakfast: 300-Calorie Meals & Portions
Here are three morning meals that each weigh in at 300 calories. Healthy and quick homemade meals (left column) pack whole grains, fresh fruit, and protein--a filling combination that will keep you fuller longer. You could only eat a fraction of the comparable restaurant meals (right column) for the same number of calories.

Lunch: 350-Calorie Meals & Portions
These midday meals contain 350 calories each--the perfect amount to keep you going without wrecking your diet. Packing one of the homemade lunches on the left doesn't take long, and look at all those low- cal and filling veggies you'll get! Notice how seemingly healthy options like the restaurant foods on the right can be very misleading! Those 350-calorie portions are pretty small.

Dinner: 400-Calorie Meals & Portions
Many people consume a larger meal at night, so we picked 400-calorie dinners here. By combining whole grains with lean protein and vegetables, these homemade dinners (left column) are a snap to prepare--and they'll keep the late-night munchies at bay! In contrast, the high-fat and high-calorie meals on the right don't offer much in the way of nutrition or volume.

The bottom line is that you can eat more and lose weight when you know how to pick the right foods and the right portions. Use the images and portions above as a guide to create your own healthy, diet-friendly and nutritious meals every day!

Ah, Healthy Reflections...

2010-02-13T18:00:00.000-08:00

The true measure of an individual is how he treats a person who can do him no good.
- Ann Landers

Magnifying small sacrifices How do you treat people who cannot (or choose not to) repay you for the good things that you have done for them? Do you hold a grudge, speak ill of them, or constantly keep score? Think about a homeless man in need of a hot meal, the elderly woman who cannot open the door by herself at the store, or a lost child. Probably none of these individuals could equally compensate you for any sacrifices you make on their behalves. There remains but two choices--help or ignore. Our minds easily jump to putting them out of our minds and going about our days. But imagine the good you could do if you took a small moment of your time or the change out of your pocket. Such a small sacrifice (from your perspective of course), could have a 10-fold positive impact!

Cookies are delicious - but which ones to choose??

2010-02-13T15:32:00.000-08:00

Health Valley Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie

Pepperidge Farm Double Chocolate CHUNK Cookie

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A double chocolate cookie for fewer calories
Whether you're a cookie lover or a chocolate lover, these double chocolate cookies are sure to please. First up is Health Valley's Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie. These tasty bites are "packed full of rich dark chocolate chunks...a chocolate lover's delight." On top of that, they're free of genetically-engineered ingredients and boast all natural ingredients. A very similar choice by Pepperidge Farm is the Double Chocolate CHUNK Cookie, described as "the best chocolate chunk cookie in the world." This one also contains dark chocolate along with macadamia nuts, cashews and pecans. Two very similar cookies, they're equal in fat grams (7) and saturated fat (3 grams), and both list zero trans fats. But one contains fewer calories...


		The Low-Cal Winner Health Valley Double Chocolate Chunk Cookie

Healthy Valley wins the calorie competition, but just barely. It weighs in at 120 calories per cookie--just 20 calories less than Pepperidge Farm's version. Twenty calories may not seem like a lot, but over the course of enjoying this package, it definitely adds up. Whether you finish off your 8-cookie pack in a day or a week, you'll take in 160 fewer calories by choosing Health Valley. You'll find this brand, along with other varieties of cookies (and more) in your grocer's natural foods section.

I LOVE TUNA

2010-02-13T10:55:00.000-08:00

Roly Poly Texas Tuna Melt

Subway Tuna Wrap (with cheese)

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Which tuna wrap will fit into your diet?
Tuna is a great source of protein and healthy fats. Both fat and protein help you stay full, making tuna a great choice when you're watching your waistline. Here are two tuna wraps that may tempt your taste buds. Roly Poly's rolled sandwiches are usually healthful options. Their Texas Tuna Melt boasts plenty of tasty fillings: tuna salad, melted jalapeno jack cheese, barbecue sauce, onion, bacon, avocado and a side of ranch dressing. Yum! Subway is also known for tasty and healthful fare. Their Tuna Wrap comes in a low-carb tortilla with tuna, American cheese, and veggies like lettuce, tomato, red onion, green peppers and black olives. Two very similar wraps, but only one can be the low-cal winner. Can you pick it?


		The Low-Cal Winner Roly Poly Texas Tuna Melt

Roly Poly offers the diet-friendly wrap that's sure to please your palate. Their Texas Tuna Melt contains 322 calories and only 13.5 grams of fat. Subway's Tuna Wrap may be promoted for the carb-conscious, but at 440 calories and more than twice the fat of its competitor (32 grams), this is one low-carb option that you'll want to avoid. Want to boost the nutrition of your Roly Poly wrap? Opt for wheat instead of white. You'll save a few calories and double your fiber intake to 3.7 grams. If you want tuna from Subway, avoid their 6-inch sub (530 calories) and try their deli style tuna sandwich. Even with cheese, it weighs in at 350 calories and almost half the fat (18 grams).

( ((TOO BAD MY FAVORITE TUNA SANDWICH ISN'T THE ONE THAT WON, HUH...)))

I love Recipes - especially chocolate ones...

2010-02-13T06:42:00.001-08:00

Chef Meg's Cocoa Meringue Shells
These meringues are a fun treat when served with low-fat vanilla ice cream and fresh fruit. If you don't have parchment paper, try using a brown paper bag from the grocery store.

Tips:

Separate the eggs when the eggs are cold and then let them come to room temperature.

Cleaning the bowl and beaters with vinegar ensures there is no grease on them. Egg whites won't stiffen if there is any grease or residue in the bowl or on the beaters.

If you don't have a piping bag, place mixture in a sandwich bag and snip off a tiny corner.

INGREDIENTS
12 egg whites, room temperature
1/2 t cream of tartar
1 1/2 c granulated sugar
1/2 c dark cocoa powder (This does make them very richly cocoa flavored. If you prefer a lighter cocoa taste, reduce the cocoa to 1/3 c.)
1 piping bag
1 star tip
DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 275 degrees. Line three baking sheets with parchment paper. Wipe out a mixing bowl and beaters with vinegar to ensure there is no grease on them. Place the egg whites in the cleaned bowl, beat at high speed until stiff. This process with take almost 8 minutes. Add cream of tartar and continue to beat. Slowly add the sugar. Remove the beaters and fold in the cocoa powder using a rubber spatula. Using a piping bag fitted with a star tip, pipe circles onto the lined trays. Pipe one 8 inch circle, then outline the outer top of the circle to create a basket effect. Bake in the middle and lower section of the oven for one hour. Turn off oven, and DO NOT open the door. Allow the meringues to sit in the warmed oven for an additional hour. Remove from oven to cool. Store in an air-tight container.

Number of Servings: 24

Yup, I am not going to be passive anymore... BWAHAHAAA!!

2010-02-11T17:22:00.000-08:00

It is the path of least resistance that makes rivers and men crooked.
- B.J. Palmer, father of chiropractic

Struggling to find your voice
In the face of conflict we might be tempted to just go with the flow and not make waves. The path of least resistance is saying "yes" when you want to say "no" and that road is always paved with regrets and mistakes. While compromise is good and a necessary part of healthy relationships, no one should have to fully deny their feelings and remain voiceless while others dominate a situation. It might feel easier to nod your head and passively agree, but in the long run you are being cheated. While there might be a whole list of justifications and excuses for stepping off the path of your principles, staying true to yourself reaps countless more rewards than selling out to appease someone else. Reconcile today the negative passivity you have displayed in the past.

This is a great link

2010-02-11T06:26:00.000-08:00

Dining Out Guide - Click Here

I love to eat out -that is no secret. So, when my newfound favorite site put up this lovely page, I was thrilled. I figured that I would share, because we all love to go out to eat once in a while. But it's good to not fall off the wagon... You know what I mean...

I want to be a diamond one day...

2010-02-10T12:34:00.001-08:00

Even if our efforts of attention seem for years to be producing no result, one day a light that is in exact proportion to them will flood the soul
- Simone Weil

What we can learn about patience from a diamond
Trying (but failing) to see your goals realized can be frustrating. Margaret Thatcher once said "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it," and she was absolutely right. You've got to believe that you will succeed! Never admit defeat as long as time and effort remain. Our greatest asset is patience; our greatest weakness is throwing in the towel. Banish discouragement and feelings of impossibility by working hard, doing more, and not giving in! A diamond was only made beautiful after millions of years as a lump of coal.

Leaps of Faith

2010-02-09T17:43:00.000-08:00

And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
- Anais Nin, Danish diarist

What leaps of faith are you willing to take?
Trying new things can give you a real zest for life. Pushing beyond your comfort zone in a responsible way helps you grow confidence and creativity that you can apply to your everyday life. Do not let fear control what you do (or don't) do? While taking risks can be scary, doing nothing is a big mistake, as it produces nothing fruitful within you. There is a direct relationship between the things that we achieve and the effort we put forth to obtain them. To reach the fruit, you have to climb the tree first!

That Darn Weightloss Goal

2010-02-09T07:41:00.000-08:00

So, I don't think that I actually posted my weightloss "Goal" - My goal is 142 lbs - I haven't been this weight since before I had Darrell, but I was this weight after I had Kennedy. I don't expect to go much lower than this - but that means that I still have 40 lbs to lose. Well - fine - 38. (Give or take 2 depending on water consumption). I am in week 5 of my consistent exercise regime - and I am starting to add in other exercises as needed. Things like, weights - Yoga - stretching - and Abs. So, it's not just cardio anymore. We are doing something all new. (I know you are all excited, huh). Instead of weighing all the time, I am doing measuring, which I have found that I prefer - I like to see that I lost a whole inch. :) That's something to really smile about.

I recently read that...

"Many women who exercise as part of their weight loss program become frustrated initially when they don't lose weight. They don't realize that training increases muscle size, and muscle tissue weighs more than fat.

As you develop muscle and lose fat, you may lose inches instead of pounds. You may even gain weight, but you'll appear slimmer and trimmer. Because you're lowering your body-fat percentage and increasing your metabolic rate, you're improving your physical fitness considerably.

So what's the best way to lose weight? Combining diet and exercise results in more weight loss than dieting alone. When you lose weight, you lose lean body mass as well as fat."

So, Perhaps I will start adding in some weights as well. Guess we will go a few more weeks and see what we come up with. In the meantime, happy weightloss goals everyone!

Another BATTLE!!

2010-02-09T05:41:00.001-08:00

Applebee's Tortilla Chicken Melt

Don Pablo's Mesquite-Grilled Chicken Quesadilla (Lunch Size)

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Does a low-fat quesadilla really exist?
Quesadillas are little more than crispy tortillas filled with lots of melted cheese. Can these Mexican specialties offer much nutrition? Applebee's Tortilla Chicken Melt shows promise. Inside a whole wheat tortilla you'll find roasted chicken, reduced fat cheese and fat-free Ranch dressing among a host of veggies including broccoli, corn and peppers. At Don Pablo's, you can order lunch-size portions until 4 p.m. Their Mesquite-Grilled Chicken Quesadilla is smaller than a regular portion and also includes lean chicken, melted cheese, and pico de gallo salsa. Could the healthy-sounding Applebee's Melt be lower in fat than a lunch portion at Don Pablo's? Take a guess!


		The Low-Fat Winner Applebee's Tortilla Chicken Melt

Yes! Applebee's Tortilla Chicken Melt actually is low in fat compared with standard fare. Just by reading the description, you probably noticed all the "green flag" words like reduced fat, whole wheat, and fat-free. Part of their Weight Watchers menu selections, this option is a much better choice than its competition. Enjoy the crispy, cheesy taste of quesadillas for only 13 grams of fat and 480 calories. You'll also get an added boost of 6 grams of fiber, which is rare for most restaurant fare. Don Pablo's Lunch Size portion is still much worse in the fat and calorie department. Their Mesquite-Grilled Chicken Quesadilla contains 773 calories and an unhealthy 39 grams of fat (19 of which are saturated). Spend your calories wisely and take advantage of Applebee's Weight Watcher offerings, whether you count points or calories.

Random Acts of ... Nutrition??

2010-02-08T15:15:00.000-08:00

Random Acts of Nutrition

If you're not comfortable with talking to loved ones about the touchy subjects of health and weight loss, you can still help them lead healthier lives by practicing "random acts of fitness." There are dozens of small things you can do every day to make healthy living as easy as possible. Sometimes, you end up helping create good habits without them even realizing it.

And in the true spirit of being a positive force, when you give your time and energy with any of these random acts, you get just as much in return.

Some ideas (in random order of course):

Keep a variety of foods in the kitchen.
Stock kitchen with healthy cookbooks, leaving them where people can find them.
Get the junk food out of the house.
Plan a cooking date.
Cook at least three times a week for the household.
If you already cook, cook healthier foods for the family.
Sneak healthy snacks and a friendly note (maybe even a love note) into their lunch, briefcase, jacket pocket or purse.
Prepare their favorite dish in a healthier way.
If it's your turn to pick, choose a healthy restaurant or one that's within walking distance.

YAY for Tidbits!!

2010-02-08T00:14:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you look at a person and see a cynical snake. Someone else sees a joyful lover. You're both right!
- Rumi, poet

Tending two shops
People can be hard to deal with. Are your co-workers constantly annoying you? Does your neighbor rake his leaves into your yard every fall? Is your child high-maintenance and needy? Often we let our frustrations and anger towards people and situations prevent us from seeing the larger picture. Try looking at the circumstance from the other person's point of view. Your overbearing co-worker might just be trying to emulate you by asking a million questions. Perhaps your neighbor doesn't really know where his property line ends and where yours begins. Your child may need more individual time with you, instead of competing with siblings. No person's personality can be summed up entirely by one negative trait or action. So next time someone cuts you off in traffic or swipes the idyllic apple you were eyeing at the store, remember that everyone is less-than-perfect sometimes. Know your role in people's lives and continue to be positive and mature. After all, we all do things that are worthy of a good tongue lashing sometimes!

Want to come have dinner with us?!?

2010-02-07T13:40:00.000-08:00

The Benefits of Eating Together

"Come and get it!" It may be dinnertime, but when was the last time your family sat down and enjoyed dinner together? With music lessons, ball practice, play rehearsal, and work schedules, it can be tough. Rounding up the troop for an evening meal can be almost impossible! However, research is beginning to show that eating as a family has great benefits for your children and teenagers. Here's another reason why you should try to sit down together 5-6 times a week, whether for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Nourish
Meals prepared and eaten at home are usually more nutritious and healthy. They contain more fruits, vegetables, and dairy products along with additional nutrients such as fiber, calcium, vitamins A and C, and folate. Home-cooked meals are usually not fried or highly salted, plus soda and sweetened beverage consumption is usually lower at the dinner table.

It's time to bring the "family" back to the dinner table. Sharing dinner together gives everyone a sense of identity. It can help ease day-to-day conflicts, as well as establish traditions and memories that can last a lifetime.

Another Spark People Tidbit

2010-02-06T22:39:00.001-08:00

Without forgiveness life is governed by...an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.
- Roberto Assagioli

The positive cycle of forgiveness
OK, be honest. Do you hold grudges? Do you allow old drama to determine your behavior? Is there someone you just can't seem to forgive? Grudges and a non-forgiving attitude do nothing but harm both parties. You might feel like you're "winning" by not letting someone off the hook, but you're only increasing your own worry and stress. Bitterness can lead to hate, which can sour a life. Today, write a letter explaining your point of view to the person you feel resentful towards. Clear the air; forgiving him. Even if you don't send it, it is an excellent way to relieve tension. Forgiving someone does not absolve them of the wrong that you experienced. It can simply free you to live a life that isn't anchored to the hurt and resentment of past events.

Another FOOD SHOWDOWN!!

2010-02-05T05:00:00.000-08:00

Papa John's Apple Twist Sweetreat

Papa John's Very Berry Sweetreat

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Which dessert pizza won't ruin your calorie budget?
What better way to end your pizza dinner than by eating...another pizza! Dessert pizzas are popping up everywhere, from your favorite chain to the mom & pop pizza store down the block. They are pretty small--about the size of a personal pizza (6 inches)--but does that mean that they are reasonable in calories? Each of these Papa John's examples offers a fruity topping, but one is significantly higher in calories.


		The Low-Cal Winner Apple Twist Sweetreat

These two are very similar in size and toppings, but the entire apple dessert pizza contains 700 calories and 18 grams of fat. Although Papa John's considers one serving to be half of this treat, you'd be better off splitting it with 4 (or more) to keep your caloric intake down to a reasonable level. Berries are some of the healthiest fruits around, but the Berry Sweetreat doesn't reap the same benefits. This pie weighs in at a huge 800 calories and 18 grams of fat--probably more than you're willing to spend on such a small dessert.

P90X - YOGA ((Shiver))

2010-02-04T13:22:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so today I did P90X - Yoga X...

Those positions - yeah - they look easy. BUT ALAS! You would be fooled into thinking such nonsense!! Those positions are HARD. My buns STILL hurt! However, I must say - I do love the YOGA. I do. I rarely get time to really get a good stretch... But this would be between cardio and stretch - so I also got a good workout. I will never laugh at people doing funky yoga positions again. Though I still cannot fathom how people can get INTO these positions, when they are accomplished you get a REALLY good stretch, not to mention a really good workout. I can't wait until next Thursday YAY!!

Did you know:

2010-01-28T08:52:00.000-08:00

Your Exercise Program: Key Components
Three types of exercise should be included in a complete exercise program: aerobic exercise,strength training, and flexibility training. You don't necessarily need to do each type at each session, but they all belong in your exercise plan.

Aerobic exercise. This is exercise that uses large muscle groups, is repetitive, and lasts long enough to get your heart and lungs working harder than usual. Some examples of aerobic exercise are dancing, biking, running, and swimming. A key benefit of aerobic training is that it increases oxygen use and helps with blood circulation to all of your muscles, including your heart.
Strength training. Designed to build muscle and increase strength, these exercises target muscle groups in the arms, legs, chest, and stomach, using free weights, weight machines, push-ups, or sit-ups. Strength training has been shown to reduce body fat and increase muscle mass and metabolism, and it may improve blood pressure. Just be sure to allow a day off between strength training sessions to give your muscles time to recover.
Flexibility training. Stretching and range of motion exercises both work to increase flexibility. For older women, this type of exercise is integral to staying limber and for preventing stiffness. Stretching is something you can do every day without any equipment, though many women enjoy taking yoga classes for this purpose. You should also include stretches as part of the cool-down period after strength training and aerobics because muscles need to be warm in order to best stretch them. Advantages of improved flexibility include better balance, better range of motion, and reduced risk of injury.

AND - one more thing::

Research shows that if you are physically active for at least 7 hours a week, your risk for premature death is 40 percent less than that of someone who is inactive. Another study has shown that post-menopausal women who were overweight made significant gains in their physical and mental health by being active for just 1 hour and 15 minutes per week. (Of course, the more active you are, the better the potential results.)

I LOVE the food showdown!!

2010-01-28T07:11:00.001-08:00

Steak 'n Shake Sippable Banana Split Sundae Milk Shake (regular)

Sonic Banana Split

Banana split shake or sundae?

A banana split is a classic dessert--so classic that you can order one by driving-thru a fast food joint. Steak 'n Shake offers a "Sippable" version of this dessert, a hand-dipped milk shake. Sonic's Banana Split is pretty big--ice cream, 2 bananas, both strawberry and chocolate syrups, whipped topping and a cherry on top! Which fast food version of the sundae is lower in calories?


		The Low-Cal Winner Sonic Banana Split

Sonic's Banana Split makes a better choice. For 467 calories and 11 grams of fat, you can enjoy this decadent treat--and have plenty to share with a friend or two! Steak 'n Shake's Sippable Banana Split packs 703 calories and more than twice the fat than Sonic's (23 grams). Another great choice is Sonic's Strawberry Sundae--only 322 calories and 11 grams of fat. Sweet!

2010-01-27T10:10:00.000-08:00

Almonds vs. Walnuts

Nuts have gotten a bad rap as high calorie, indulgent foods that we should decline whenever tempted. True, nuts get more than half of their calories from fat. But the fat in nuts is healthy for you, your heart, and your waistline. But how do different types of nuts compare to one another? Almonds are a healthy source of calcium and make a great snack alone or in your favorite salad. Walnuts are an excellent source of magnesium, omega 3 fatty acids and vitamin B6. If you want to get the health benefits of nuts without adding excessive calories to your diet, which of these two should you choose?


		The Low-Fat Winner Almonds

Almonds contain about 182 calories and 19 grams of fat per 1/3-cup, making them a good option when trying to add nuts to your diet. At 261 calories and 26 grams of fat, the same serving of walnuts is a little harder to handle. Of course, moderation is important. About 1 to 1-1/2 ounces of nuts are recommended per day to fall into the healthy category. This is approximately one handful. If you eat much beyond that, you're eating a lot of calories!

**Note** This was taken from an e-mail that I get from SparkPeople - yes, i just LOVE that website. Anyway, I must say - it was a tough decision for me because I love all nuts (Being one myself) - but, They are right, I would have to go with Almonds as a personal choice... just throwin' that out there. Love to all! Happy weightloss adventures!

To Exercise While Sick or Not to Exercise while Sick...

2010-01-21T09:10:00.001-08:00

To Exercise While Sick or Not to Exercise while Sick...

Posted using ShareThis

Well, that didn't seem to work too well. If you want to view this - I HIGHLY Recommend getting a Spark Account - either way I would recommend it. They are wonderful and helpful with the dietary needs!

Spark People...

2010-01-19T19:52:00.000-08:00

NUTRIENTS:	GOAL	TODAY
Calories:	1,280 - 1,630	1,296
Fat:	28 - 63	29
Carbohydrates:	144 - 265	187
Protein:	60 - 143	73

So, I must confess that I really like this site. based on my height and weight it has helped me to start tracking what I am eating and what my goal should be since I am working out. I like to see what I should be doing instead of guessing, reading all of these diet books, and coming up empty handed most of the time. Spark People - great site - If you want to add me as a friend I am ms-aonika

Today I was on the elliptical again. I love that machine. I still don't feel like I am getting any results yet, but I know that eventually it will all start to melt away in a fit of happiness... FIT I SAY!! FIT of happiness! (For I shall be just that... Fit)

19 days in, and so far not a big difference.... Slow and steady, isn't that what they say??

Lovely Pizza

2010-01-14T13:35:00.000-08:00

It's a weakness - It's the food of College Students - and It was my downfall last night. Ahhh, Domino's Pizza. How you tempt me!~! How you hold me back from my weightloss goals! Sure, I went to the gym, I worked out, It was BRUTAL - but then to come home and eat three slices of delicious doughy goodness - well, needless to say I am feeling the guilt. BUT, it was so good.. . and I will be swimming tonight so, surely that's gotta count for something right??

I am SOOOOO Hungry

2010-01-11T14:04:00.000-08:00

See the picture!?! Even the Mouth in the picture is saying... HUNNNNNGRY!! (Good thing that I don't look like that for real). Getting back into this diet is so hard. I hate portions. I want to eat and eat, and though I CAN , I really shouldn't.

I did find something really cool though. The Franklin Planner Health tracker. This thing is so great. It has little check boxes for Water, Daily Supplements, Servings of Fruit and Vegetables, and a place to put what you've been eating. On the other side it has a place for you to fill in your exercises and what muscles you targeted, your Target Heart Rate as well as how long you worked out.

What a Wonderfully organized way to stay on track. I found that I am not drinking as much water as I think that I am drinking (Thanks Mr. Check Box on the Planner), and I like checking things off. Almost any one knows that about me (If you've ever seen my cleaning list, there would be NO doubt in your mind).

So, Good news from last week's working out start? I am not sore. AND, I can take my rings off again - so, I can see that there is progress already. I am using the Body For Life Cookbook in tandem with my many different avenues of exercise... Guess I will let you know how that goes. Right now, Well, I am just Hungry.

Flub a Bub a Dub Dub Dub

2010-01-06T09:22:00.000-08:00

So, I am back to officially working out. We started a group at work called "Fat Blasters" and there are 5 of us that are working out individually. We have decided to have "meetings" every two weeks to go over our goals and losses or gains and whatever else. So far, so good. I've been going strong for 5 days - I feel "stiff" but not sore.. does that make sense? My goals are far more elaborate than they were when I was doing "Body For Life" - but mostly because this is not a 12 week program. This is going for the whole year - well, unless someone gets fired from Obeo - but, either way. . . we are going for the whole year if we can. 6 weeks doesn't seem to make a difference for me, and neither did 12 - though, I didn't really finish out the program like I should have, but even at 6 weeks I didn't notice a major difference with it... so, I figured we are going to ease back on one thing (my sugar intake) and ease up on other things like - well - exercise. I am not doing weights - I am doing mainly cardio and swimming. I found that I had the best results with that when I was doing it before. I am up against other odds as well, like taking medication that possibly slowed my thyroid. (Being tested for that presently)... so, Right now, I feel like the odds are stacked against me for success - thus the reason that we are extending this for a year - took longer to put it all on , why not give myself a little extra time to get it all off?

New Years Resolution in Advance...

2009-12-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

So, I know that it has been a long time - and I really should dust off the scale. My friend is going to be here in a week and she is going to whip me (Literally) back into shape. It's going to take a while, and there are going to be more changes than I care to admit right now, but I am so tired of the up and down of the measurements - so Andrea is going to help me out. No body for life this time. No "get rid of those carbs and eat proteins"... Nope, - this is going to be Workout De La Andrea. So, maybe I will be keeping up with this blob too... Who knows. :) - I know that I am not over 180 still... so, at least on that we are golden. YAY!

Another week down...

2009-04-30T16:14:00.000-07:00

And it's Thursday. I started to do "Slim in 6". Not that the Body 4 Life program is bad or anything like that. Quite the contrary... I wanted to do something to step up my game a little bit. Push myself. And after a 3 day stint with Debbie Siebers... well... I can say that I think she's personally out to kill me... No, really... I think that she is.And ((According to Rick)) Tony Horton is trying to Kill him. He started back in on the P90X stuff. He was complaining about how he wasn't seeing the results that he wanted to see... So I told him that the programs were completely different. Boy Howdy Are they ever. He's been so darn sore... I think that it's hilarious.

What's Going on ...

2009-04-23T07:42:00.000-07:00

I mean, seriously - I post and post and post... I was diligent... all was well. Then, nada. I moved around a lot between work and home - (Yes... I work at Obeo again) - and I just haven't had the time to be here like I want to be. I find no time to post... no time to vent... no time to gloat... WHAT IS MY DIET COMING TO!?!
That's right... you are looking at a slop bucket...

Oh fine... I jest... my diet is not a slop bucket... but I don't see the results that I want to see. I look better - I feel better - however, I am not losing that unsightly tummy that I Wanted to lose. From all that I have read I should be doing cardio every day... however, I don't want to do cardio every day. I don't LOVE the weight training part of things, but I do prefer it sometimes. Makes me feel all sorts of BUFF and stuff...So, I don't know what week we are on. I think that we are on Week 10... I am still right around 175... which is still below 180 - so I can't complain. My heartrate takes longer to get up when I do cardio... and I can run on the treadmill for about three minutes now without really having to stop. (Trust me... that's a miracle in itself - me even being ON a tredmill is a miracle)

Well, I will be seein' ya'll around ! Hopefully it will be sooner than later!

Frizzity Frazzin!

2009-03-25T08:06:00.001-07:00

So, I have not been able to really get a good work out in since last week. There are positives and negatives to this.

First - a positive - I have maintained my good eating and I still am losing the weight... Nice... huh.

Not so good - Well, my back still is achy all time - But, I have been doing my cardio stuff so I think that I am alright there...

How do I get myself back into the weights? I don't want to hurt myself worse, and it seems that everything is connected to the lower back. Even when I do the bicycle, my lower back aches when I am done. Any suggestions?

Oooooh my Aching Back

2009-03-17T07:09:00.000-07:00

That's right - you read it... my aching back. Yesterday was Arms and Back - and I was feeling the burn after the workout... what I didn't realize is that when I got home I wouldn't be able to get any sleep because my back would be all achy. I couldn't get comfy for the life of me! So, I was up all night tossing and turning - Thanks a lot achy back!

Now it's the next day and I am finding that I am not sore, but I am still achy - what's that all about?

And for those that were wondering yesterday - here is the cover of the Holy Grail of Cook books!I got my confirmation that it was shipped- mmmm - my tummy can't wait!

Back to Work for Me

2009-03-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

So, I was all excited because I lost the stress and I lost weight about the same time. However, On Saturday I got a phone call and they wanted to re-offer a job to me at Obeo. Well, with the current situation, I took the job. AND - I am now back to work. I am a bit stressed, but I think that I have my stressful eating habits under control - so, I expect that things will be fine.

I wasn't the best last week - I missed two days of a workout, and I had dessert on Friday night when I went out with the girls. (((SHAME SHAME))). However, I still lost weight. Isn't that impressive? DANG IT - be impressed!

So, we are at the beginning of week 5. I feel pretty good... I haven't been sleeping as well as I would like - and I am finding that my "eat whatever you want" days, are not near as fun as I want them to be. I am too full to eat whatever I want all day long... Too full...

However, there is a light at the end of my eating tunnel - My Sisters hubby found (what appears to be) the Holy Grail of all cook books. It is the "Eating for Life" book... it has pictures. (Can you sense the excitement!?!) I am thrilled. I ordered the book and can't wait for it to get here so I can try new things. I would post a picture of the book here, but I am having problems with the blogger site and uploading right now... so you will just have to look it up for yourself...

PS: (Before I go) someone brought their wedding cake to work... OOOOOOOOOH THE TEMPTATION! However, I will not eat it... I won't!! I am going to break the 170 mark in the next two weeks and Wedding Cake is NOT on the list of things that I get to have... :D

- I got the Workout Blues -

2009-03-10T13:33:00.000-07:00

So, I am very excited to be past that darn 180 barrier. My new goal is to pass the 170 barrier. Ooooh, but I got the workout blues... (sign with me now ya'll).

See, Rick is out of the joint now. He does his own thing - he's involved in P90X. Last time he was doing it, he got really great results. But, as I told him yesterday, that's just not my thing. It's not for me. I think that I know me better than anyone else. I know that if I get too rigid with something, that I will sabotage myself. I know that I prefer cardio to weight lifting, and I could do cardio every day and be quite happy with myself. I know that with weights I work out better with a partner, but Cardio I can do all by my little lonesome and be quite content. I put in the ear buds, and away I go.

Rick's new work schedule allows him close to three hours off in the middle of the day. He knows that I want to do cardio every day, and so does he. So, Monday and Today we have gone together during his lunch hour. He drives all the way back up here from work just do eat lunch at home and go to the gym and do some cardio. The bad part is that two days in a row now, he is just rushing me... he is stressed that he will be late going back to work. Ok, Ok, then don't drive up for this - or, I will go do cardio by myself earlier in the morning and then I won't be the hangup here.

People, this is the way it has always been with Rick - if it's not in his time frame, then suddenly he's going to be late and everything is stressful. If it is in his timeframe then all is happy and smooth. Now, granted, this is just a slight venting - I will not give up on my goals just because he's making my favorite part of the workout feel bleh. But today I just feel like I didn't get what I wanted out of it because it wasn't a stress reliever - it was more stressful to go with him than to go alone.

This is the same thing for the diet, by the way. He's trying to follow my diet, but since he will be doing P90X, my diet won't exactly do him any good. He needs a lot more carbs than what I take in. True, he can adjust a few things... but today I had eaten before He got home - I had my daily snack. It wasn't quite time for lunch, but he needed his lunch before he had to go back to work... so he proceeded to lecture me on the fact that I needed to be eating appropriately with my workout schedule (Like I didn't know that already - I've been doing it for three weeks... I just didn't want to eat that soon following a snack AND a workout).

Ahhh, I am going to have to find a better solution for his working out and my working out on different programs. Any ideas?

Health Care Evaluation

2009-03-06T09:07:00.000-08:00

Well, as the great and powerful Oz spoke of on her blob - I too went and had a health screening done at the Rec center today. My blood pressure was 112/70 - Pretty decent... The low BP Runs in the family though.

Then - they did the Body fat / BMI test. My Body fat was %29.7 and my BMI is 29.8. Seems to me that I have a bit of chub for my height - BUT, that's soon to go! In fact, it's on its way out the door right now! :D

Anyway, I said that I would share - and so I have... I will write more in a while - Just thought that I would post the note. :D LOVE TO ALL!

Lose the Stress, Lose the Weight

2009-03-05T09:30:00.000-08:00

So, a few days back I posted that my job was making me stressed. That stress would be the downfall of my diet. Then, God stepped in and said "I know you want to lose weight, so I will help you by making it so you don't have a stressful Job". Immediately, there was a flash of light and suddenly, my world was different. More appealing. Less stressful. Lo' there was a scale, and I stepped upon the scale, and I broke the 180 mark! I am no longer above 180! (And may I never go there again).

The moral? Lose the stress, lose the weight.

Sure, I don't have a job anymore... but that's alright.

LAST NIGHT at the gym it was legs and abs - My legs are so sore... :( Sore legs make for an unhappy Aonika. It's hard to do much when all you really want to do is sit around because your legs are so tender... But, that's not going to stop me. Today at the Rec Center they are doing some sort of health screening on people. I am going to go there and try it out and see what they come up with. I will post the results here, later. Much love to all!

Stressors -

2009-03-02T21:48:00.000-08:00

From what I understand - Stress can be a major factor in failure of diet. After all, it has been shown in studies dealing with cortisol, that stress can cause weight gain. I already said that I felt it would be my job that would sabotage me. I am stressed - it's true. Now, tonight I tried something totally different, and I was so disappointed...

I exercised - I have heard that if you just run and run you will feel so much better after you are done. I had a great workout with my family ... making the hulk faces and so on. After we were done I decided to add in a little extra bit of cardio figuring that it can't really hurt AND I would get the benefits of stress relief. Well, I am disappointed - I still feel just as stressed about work and NOW, I am sweaty on top of that!

If this stress causes me to hold on to extra pounds, I am going to "Off" the CEO. By the way - Thanks for a great workout Ozzie and Tim... I appreciate all of the guidance with the weights... MAN my shoulders ache...

It's MONDAY of WEEK 3!

2009-03-02T16:33:00.000-08:00

Isn't this exciting... So, I say to myself "Ahhhh - only 10 weeks of a workout plan you say? 10 weeks doesn't sound too long... Surely isn't as long as 12 weeks! - I believe that I will try it out and see... perhaps it will work..."

I know that I can't trick my body into that line, but - you never know with me... :D

I am still sore from jogging on Friday night and Saturday - but, I think that in then end that will be worth it for me...

And, by the way, my job is going to be what sabotages me... I don't hardly have time to stop and eat on my breaks and lunch - too many things needing to be done! It won't be me... it will be my job that sabotages my efforts...

Well, Maybe I was Wrong

2009-02-26T08:36:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and I didn't feel sore at all. I actually am finding that I like the method of this workout schedule - a little bit. The weights are fantastic - I actually feel like I am working on something on nights that I go and do weights. It's the nights that I am doing cardio that I don't feel like I am getting enough in. It's supposed to be a 20 minute cardio plan, but I really feel like I should be doubling that. (at the very least).

Then I read: http://www.ivannikolov.com/bodybuilding-articles/all/how-long-to-cardio.html

I guess I just need to be a more patient person... Though, with what it says - since I work out at night... maybe adding in a few 10 - 15 minute quick cardio sessions after weights won't kill me... right?
By the way - I got my muffins... and they are yummy... YUMMY. Might have to add that into my regular snacking routine. I did finally finish going through all of the "Snack" recipes on the Body for Life site. I have a good collection. Today I am wading through Breakfast Ideas - Hopefully, by the end of next week, I will have a good 14 day menu that doesn't get too boring for me. When I am done with it, I will post it here. Love to all!

Sore Arms...

2009-02-25T20:53:00.000-08:00

That is what is going to happen to me.... I rushed the workout tonight - I did. BUT, I did it all - I just did it so fast that there was no time to recuperate and now, I can just tell, my arms are going to hate me tomorrow. This is the sensitive spot for me - my arms - Started when I was a sophomore in high school. There was a comment made about how I looked in a strapless dress - that my arms were , well, mannish. Ever since then I have been self conscious of the way they look. But, does that mean that I should be able to Abuse them in a single workout??!!??

Sigh - I am going to eat my snack and go to bed... I need to get up TOO Early and I gotta be perky for tomorrow.

Woah What a Week!

2009-02-25T09:23:00.000-08:00

I did pretty good there. Actually, I really did. No, I really did! DANG IT - I DID GOOD!

I got in all of my exercises except for Friday's Exercises (thanks Rec Center for shutting down at 9:00PM even though Monday through Thursday you stay open until 11:00PM) I don't know how I don't lose weight with all the running around that I did all weekend. But, everyone should know that I did behave myself when it came to eating. I did not over eat, and I did lay off the yummy Rochers. I did, on Saturday night, have a scoop of ice cream after dinner - but on Sunday I behaved myself and didn't really take my free day or go too overboard. I stayed within my portions. Yay me!

Monday was soooo tough. I made it to the gym later than I would have liked (thanks Jeremy), and I rushed my workout. My sides are still tender. Last night was good. After the temple, we went to work out and I got in (at least) a good thirty minutes on an elliptical machine. I like those better than the bikes for sure. I turned up the resistance on mine last night and today my arms are a bit achy, but I think that it was worth it. If I don't feel a little bit fatigued then I don't think that I am doing it right.

And THAT is my week in review!

PS: I was promised Muffins... MUFFINS! And did I get any muffins? Oooh nooooo! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! :P

Day Two - Hmmmm

2009-02-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

According to the Great Wise Eldest - I FAILED miserably yesterday. Actually, I don't think that I did. I had Two Yummy Delicious Ferrero Rocher's following my dinner... SEE how yummy they look?!!? They do look yummy... and believe me, they are. Now, I have several reasons for thinking that I didn't fail too badly - 1) I usually eat between 6 and 8 of these little puppies at a sitting. I know... but I love to eat... and I love to eat chocolaty, nutty things. and 2) Yesterday, I actually did pretty good - I think. I posted about my delicious breakfast and snacking. Rick helped me make it through dinner and I didn't over eat once yesterday. Heck, I haven't overeaten once today. So, since I am doing good with limiting myself - and usually I don't... I think that two little tiny chocolaty candies keep me out of serious trouble. After all - if I don't, will I then binge on them later?? Probably... That's just how I do things...

I have found that I do not like yucky ucky cottage cheese (EVEN BLENDED) , but that Ozzie was right - the Peanut butter / banana shake is legal and pretty darn yummy.

Last night was workout number two. I felt great following. Aerobic/Cardio activity is where I excel- I don't like weights. But 20 minutes of cardio - well, I got that. I could have kept on going for another 20 minutes, easily... I hope that part of the program increases... because I just wanted to keep on going last night.

So, this morning I have done good on my breakfast, snack, and lunch is prepared and portioned just right. :D YAY. So far, so good - Even with the Ferrero Rocher's...

It's Tuesday already?!?

2009-02-17T09:43:00.000-08:00

AHHHHHH - The Sea Cow... so Lovely, so sleek, so graceful in their watery world. The Sea Cow... so descriptive of how I felt last night as I started this "Body for Life" program. Now, I know that Ozzie is a bit more positive on her blog than I am... I mean, she does weigh 10 lbs less than I do, so she gets to be more positive... This is serious business people. I am down with it so seriously that last night I was up until 11:30 making my "snack foods" for the next two days, and planning out at LEAST Breakfast and lunches for the next two days. That was oober hard. I know that this part is really off topic - but does the scale really matter? My clothes STILL Fit me and I am mostly comfortable in them- So, why do I worry so much about that little big number???Anywho - I was up early today - I started my day with 1 whole egg and 1 egg white on top of dry Multi Grain toast. (Super toasted). My snack was right on time, I started off with the Yogurt/ Cottage cheese/ Fruit cocktail blend. I just couldn't stomach it so I finally gave in and crunched up honey nut cheerios and sprinkled them throughout and finished my snack (Perfectly proportioned in a 1 cup serving bowl).See - my serving bowls are not quite THAT Pretty, but they are stackable. I think that's something, right? Anyway - I don't know what I am going to have for dinner. For lunch I am going to have a baked potato with butter buds and tuna fish. Interesting combo - I know. but I didn't have any time to grill chicken last night. I might do that for tomorrow night.
Speaking of last night - I know that this picture is on my other Blob - but... FLAB... Flab is what I got - I said remember dat...

Last night was a good start to the program. It was much easier to do it while I had Aislinn there to cheer me on. She made lots of funny faces at me and counted me down even when I thought that I could not take it anymore. I didn't think that I would make it - but somehow I did. And I am pretty sure it was all her fault. But, now I only have 11 weeks and 6 days to go - Can I get a counter for that?

I need a reward too - Come on now, all you lurkers -- Give me ideas on how I should reward myself for this great feat!

- Body For Life -

2009-02-16T16:34:00.000-08:00

The Twelve Week Program - where, somehow, I am supposed to lose all this unsightly flub-a-blub and become the hottie that I once was. Apparently, after this program I am supposed to have the best body of my life - does this mean that I will look 17 again? Doubtful, but less flub is better than current flub - so... here we go ... right? I will be starting tonight - not quite the same as my sister and Brother-in-Law. After all, I refuse (presently) to go to "Natural Peanut Butter"... especially when I LOVE the Jif. I do. Love it.

So, there are also these little issues that I have with the whole "before" and "after" shots. I think that I like the idea of doing mine like this guy here. I want to see, but I don't... I definately don't think that I will be sharing them with others either... Unless I have REALLY great results, then MAYBE I would share them. MAYBE. So, It's time again to get my Eggy self back into a shape other than round. Maybe this is the time... We start tonight - and I will do my best to keep up my Daily Blob. After all - this is supposed to be supportive, right?
Goals - Well, my goal is to get back to at LEAST a 145 - that's just below the "Overweight" portion on my chart. I would like to go from a size 10 to a size 8 in my jeans... and from XL Shirts to L. It would be REALLY nice - REALLY - if my boobs would tone down just a bit... I mean, seriously guys - what is up with having to be bigger than everything else? It's like a super competition between my boobs and my butt!

So, Are you ready to cheer me on? Better yet - are you ready to join in and feel the BURN too!?! This is gonna be great...

2008-10-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

I know that I have posted before about being blessed with special friends. And this one is a very similar "Thanks to the Man" post. This weekend, I had a double date with a couple from my ward. Ooooh, not just any ordinary couple - Carl and Jerri Wilson... You know the couple - the Very spiritual, have their whole life together, when I grow up I want to be just like them, couple. :D

Somewhere, about two weeks ago when Rick got ordained with the M Priesthood, something tugged on Carl Wilson to come over to our house for a chat. He asked Rick to do the lesson the next week in Elders Quorum. Well, we got to talking and discovered that we had quite a few things in common. So, that night, he brings Jerri (his sweetheart) back over to our house so we could visit.

This started what is quickly turning out to be a lovely friendship with another couple. But, the thing that I am finding out is that this couple is not the perfect couple that I had thought. In fact, they are a lot like myself and Rick. There are so many similarities, from the way we were raised, to our histories in relationships, and even some "Whoops - I totally messed th at one up" along the way.

What is interesting about this is TWO things - One - I have always felt like I was not part of the ward, or other couples, because of my rebellious past. I have done some things that I am not so proud of, and I always feel like others have had no trouble staying on that straight and narrow, whilst I go and hang out in a bar.... Hmmm - then when it comes time to get to know each other, I don't feel like I can be myself because of some of the things that I have done. I don't want them to be uncomfortable, I am uncomfortable, and then I feel that we will have nothing in common. SO, I have rarely gotten to know other couples or gone on dates (Actually, I have NEVER gone on a double date until saturday night). Which brings me to number TWO - I don't go on double dates. I just don't socialize well in this faucet. Or at least I felt that I didn't. After all, how could anyone feel comfortable hanging out with a deviant such as myself? Not to mention my husband who doesn't know his father (that same father that sowed his oats across the valley and populated half of West High School's 1986-1990 classes). Who would understand that? Especially people in the church, IN UTAH.

But, blessings come when I am doing what is right. I know this. I don't always like to admit it, but I know it. And the Lord put Carl and Jerri with us - and the more that we got to know each other on Saturday night, the more I realized that I was not the only one that struggled with following that straight and narrow. These are two people in the church that I see as having such a great amount of faith and strength, and here we are at dinner - talking about how much people fight in their marriages, or what we did as youth when we thought no one was watching. And, turns out that we were quite a bit alike.

So, I just have to say how grateful I am that I have found a couple, IN MY WARD, that I get along with - that Rick and I can be open and be ourselves with, because they have been where we have been. What a blessing. Little - I know - but for me, it's HUGE.

Another week, another thought

2008-10-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, Rick was Ordained with the M-Priesthood. I feel very blessed being his wife anyway - but this is the first time, since I have left my father's house, that I have had the blessings of the Priesthood in my own home. Though he has not exercised it yet, I can just tell that we are already blessed just by him having this authority now. I can't believe that I made it this long, with KIDS, and didn't have this additional, profound influence in my home. Right after the blessing, Darrell took a deep breath, sighed, and said "That gave me the BEST Feeling!" - and ya know something, he was absolutely right. That gave me the BEST feeling too.

Thank you for General Conference

2008-10-06T07:46:00.001-07:00

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for general conference. A time when members of our faith come together to hear guidance from a living prophet. This weekend we had the pleasure of listening to conference. As Rick and I sat together and watched each of the speakers, we discussed the topics that were being presented. Isn't is a wonderful thing to know that the heavens are opened and that we can receive insightful information on how to better ourselves, not just as individuals but as sealed units, in this lifetime.

The talks about marriage and the temple were very appropriate, not just for me - but I am sure for many others, though I took them to be directed at me. I would hope that most individuals that watch conference would take things to heart - whether the talk seems to apply to them directly or not. (But that's just a personal wish).

Anyway, though this to me is not a little thing - it only really happens twice a year. Because of that, I feel that it can go into my little things blob. It's my Big Little thing. I am so grateful that I know that there is a living prophet on this earth today, and that he speaks directly to us with authority given to him by our Father in Heaven. Conference weekend is always a special time for me - and this weekend was no different. It's so EASY to have a spiritual moment - a God Moment - when there is Conference weekend. (I think that it's because he's GOT to be RIGHT THERE with the prophet... he's just GOT to be(Or at least that's MY impression.)).

Anyway - if you want to feel what I felt, then (when conference gets released) go and listen to Henry B. (he's SO my favorite next to Dieter).

I recognize...

2008-10-01T08:04:00.000-07:00

I recognize The fact that I get very busy and I overlook things like Blobbing. This is so true. It's not that I do not recognize my Heavenly father in my life on a daily basis. In fact, recently I have noticed him more and more. I just haven't really made blogging a priority.

Now, I have a job - a blessing if ever there was one. And I really like this job. The company has done it's best to be flexible with my schedule (which is quite precarious if there ever was one). The people here are fantastic and I love them already. The group that they have me with has been helpful and supportive of me coming in after a heavy layoff in their office. I really enjoy this job. This to me is a fantastic blessing from my Heavenly Father.

But, aside from jobs - family - and so forth... There is something that I would like to point out today.

Yesterday, I scheduled my sealing to my sweet husband. The magical date is December 13th, 2008, Salt Lake Temple - 1:00 for Endowments. 3:00 for sealing.

In all my life, with all the things that I have done, with all the decisions that I have made - somehow, Heavenly Father just KNEW that I was going to be a rebellious little deviant. And yet, he still gave me opportunity after opportunity to correct and grow and graduate forward to what I have always had as a goal, but kept botching up on my own. He put me in positions to be challenged, and often I failed miserably. But, He also knew that deep down, in my heart, I wanted to be sealed in the temple to my husband and my family.

I cannot outline all the little things that were placed in my path to make this event happen - but I do recognize that I could not have made it on my very own. Some of it came from the help and love of friends and family. But, a great deal of it came from His eternal wisdom. So - Here's to the MAN - THE MAN - for looking out for me. I am so grateful that He never gave up (And for all of you that read this, I am grateful that you never gave up on me either).

I am certain that it is a blessing... I am... I am... I am..

2008-08-20T14:44:00.000-07:00

Alrighty - Sometimes I wonder how much convincing I have to do to realize that it's a blessing. A few semesters ago I learned of the "Hindsight" Theory. Just about everyone tested would say (After the event happened) "I KNEW that was going to happen!" But, you never REALLY know. You have a suspicion, but it could go either way... and regardless of the way things turn out - your mind has already planned for that event (And multiple outcomes as well) ... so, naturally you say something like "I Just KNEW that was going to happen". Hindsight phenomenon.

Darrell has been having a HECK of a time at school. But, Darrell is my sensitive little man - I don't think that he knows how to be malicious. I have seen him be mean, and then he will turn right around and be all guilt ridden for it. It bothers me on one hand, because I see him being the one that gets picked on, walked on, and I can see him ending up with an overpowering woman who doesn't respect his gentle nature. But, I also wouldn't want him to turn into a bully. I love him how he is, but I worry.

Back to school - he's just having a hard time. He's the youngest (5) in the first grade. And he is at a Montessori school as well. That means that 1st - 3rd graders are in the same classroom together. This means that there is extra "Picking" at school. I know, from being in psychology, that it takes 6-8 weeks for things to settle down and kids to realize that it doesn't really matter what the other kids are saying or doing, they have their own clicks and friends and they don't care about the other groups. But, Darrell is A) the only first grader (Right now) and B) the youngest.

This is such a hard decision... to keep him at a place where he's not happy. But, I know that as he grows up, if I move him back now I will be doing 2 things. 1) I will be showing him that it's alright to give up and back down. and 2) He's smart - so, he will get bored if I put him in K again... and that means that he will become a trouble maker... not just now, but in the future as well. His dad was bored, and a trouble maker... I got bored, and got myself into trouble... and Rick was bored , and was a trouble maker... So, thinking ahead - planning ahead - we've made the tough decision to keep him in the 1st grade, even though he's all sorts of upset about it right now.

So, how is this my "God Moment"... well, Just after I talked to him and his teacher this morning, I walked out to my car. I sat in my car and I cried - it was so tough to see his eyes well up with tears and plead with me to not have to go through the mean first grade... And I realized that he can do this. I know that he can. He's smart and kind, and I know that this will help him to learn so many things. I don't want him to be hurt - I don't want him to be picked on - but this experience will help him, and I know it.

That is how Heavenly father usually works with me - he gives me something that I feel I just can't handle, and somehow I make it through... and it really does turn out allright in the end. So, if Heavenly Father is our parent - then I guess that as a Parent, if I have to do something tough, that I don't necessarily want to do - By my being strong, Darrell will become stronger too...

Boy - I sure hope that this blessing pans out fast... because I just feel so sad that I had to leave him there today... all teary and pleading for me not to. I know it's right... but it's just so tough.

PS: Ais - Yesterday at your house, this is what was wrong with him. He didn't want to play because he was truly having a bad day. I just hope we can get him to a point where he handles stuff like this better... (sigh)... let the games begin.

I believe there are angels among us...

2008-08-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

I Believe there are angels among us
Sent down to us, from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me, in our darkest hours
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give
To Guide us with the light of love

Music has always been such an important factor in my life. Aislinn and I had been talking the other night about how to get music on our blobs... and Ashley had told me how a while ago. I decided that I was going to do this today. I wrote in my journal (Like I have diligently been doing) and I figured, well - I might as well blog too. I haven't done it for a week. And it's been such a great week for me. So, here I am again, with another eventful blob. And this time I have added music - and I hope that while you read, you can listen, and feel what I sometimes feel when I hear these songs. (I typically am crying if I sing them).

Blessings come in so many ways. THANK YOU THANK YOU to my brother in Law who is so meticulous and gracious - to look over my travel documents and arrangements and discover that I was going to Cincinatti OH instead of back to Salt Lake City on my flight home. What a blessing to have an attorney in the family who looks over all of the little things that I would just assume were taken care of. If he had not done that, then I would not be having a very fun time at the end of the cruise - and that would really suck after such a wonderful week (Which I am highly anticipating already).

Thank you for inspired individuals who create beautiful music for us to listen to. I cannot say how much it affects me, not just to listen to the music that is on the radio, and inspired, but in church, and in Abravanel Hall. Ode to Joy is Playing on September 12th. This is (BY FAR) Rick's Favorite Symphony. We heard about it late, but I thought for sure that I would be able to get student tickets to go. (we were supposed to be flying out that night too - so I knew that I would be cutting it close) -- But, we just had to go anyway. It's Rick's FAVORITE SYMPHONY. (I can't stress that enough). So, I call, and there are no student tickets available. I am on a budget - and pretty sad because I really want to do something very special for Rick. I wasn't going to tell him about Ode To Joy - but I just had to find a way for us to go and stay in our budget so we could have fun on the cruise. HAD To. The man on the other line asks me if I am a member of Vivachi - and it turns out that I am (being a music major and all that). I got two tickets for 14$ each - total of $30 for this wonderful event. Plus, we are not leaving until the next moring for the cruise - so, no worries there. It all just worked out so perfectly so Rick and I could go and see his favorite symphony, AND we don't have to worry about the Flight Departure. WHAT A BLESSING!

So, those are my two most recent events - and another blessing of the day - my things have sold so well on Ebay. That means that I can pay off my CC, and not worry about borrowing someone else's CC for the cruise. (Sigh). I can't tell you what a relief that is for me. I, being fiercely independent, do not prefer to use someone else's CC - I know I have to sometimes... but it's nice to have my own freed up. So, thank you Heavenly Father, with blessing my auctions to go well on Ebay! WOO HOO!

SO horribly Picked On!

2008-08-11T20:00:00.000-07:00

Well, it's not that I haven't seen the Hand of God in my life - or, not that I haven't written it down... I just haven't had computer access - so, It hasn't been here. Ooooh sure, Aislinn has picked on me MERCILESSLY - I knew that she would. BUT, I did write everything down in my journal... yes, I wrote it all by HAND. It was a goal of mine to try to get back into doing something like that. And I got it started. So, when things went to pot around this place for a few days, I didn't feel like I had not been diligent with the task of recognition. I just knew that I had not posted it HERE. So, from me to you all - here is how my week went and how Heavenly Father Helped me out. That's right people, count those blessings ---

Wednesday was the next post that I should have made. It was a busy day. Full of fun and adventure. Deciding that I would not be at UHaul because it conflicted with Rick being a Manager, well, that was tough. I ki nd of was really looking forward to helping people hitch up those wagons and get the heck out of Bountiful. AHEM - selfish, probably. BUT, on Wednesday I was blessed with another Job Interview AND they offered me the job. This was fantastic! However, I couldn't take the job because it was daily from 5PM to 10PM. Just not possible with the kids that I have and their schedule. Well, so what?!? What was that all about HUH? I think that the point is that Heavenly father wants me to know that he is Looking out for me and my family. After all, he did provide Rick with a job that is making decent money again. I can be a little bit more choosy about my part time practices, right? As my day went on I realized something - not like a "DUH AONIKA" sort of thing, but that little whispering... that one that said "It's not quite time yet... you still have family obligations missy". And with that, I went and did Plasma, which provided gasoline for half the week. I truly am blessed in this aspect. It's been tight around here - I will never say that it hasn't been. But, I have not been so much in need that I am stranded somewhere. (BY the way, this plays on a little later in my week) But, then I started to doubt things - because we had enough wind that Utah Power blew a fuse or something and my computer appeared to be dead. *THUS THE NON POSTING... AHEM* - I will admit, I did doubt during this time - How can he give you such a good day and then TOSS something like a financial BLAH in your lap? He knows that I use my computer all the time!? Why kill it off now?!? (Hey, there's something about the car too... but I didn't gripe so much when that happened) Moving Forward...

Thursday, my moment was not really my own. I had the opportunity to be of service to an older woman in my ward. I went to her home to bring her supper, and after I had gotten there, she hugged me. That was it - a simple hug. Then she told me how much it meant to her to be visited and cared for by the sisters in our ward. So many times I think to myself, "Well, we live in Utah! Surely everyone is taken care of because everyone wants to 'magnify their calling' , Right?" This is not necessary , and I tend to forget how we are all used at some time or another, to help Heavenly Father reach out to those that truly need his help in their own times of need. Even when I am low, when I am in an area of service, I see how much I have been lifted by his gentle hand. Sitting down with Sister Pierson, I had the opportunity to realize that there are many lovely people in this world who really just need someone to care for them. Not that our Heavenly Father does not care for them, but since he can't be there in person I think that he sends people that truly do care. I know that I get really involved when it comes to other people and their lives. I enjoy that part of my own life because I am comfortable in that area. I think that most of my siblings are engineered that way as well... and because of this I see that Heavenly Father has made it possible for us to be his tools when others are in need of comfort or just a person that will listen.

Friday - well, I got to spend the day with Circe. She wanted to go "Hot Guy Hunting". I am glad that the lord made us with so many differences - I mean, I don't really enjoy the idea of being a clone (Do you?) Her idea of a "Hot guy" is DEFINATELY NOT my Idea of a hot guy. (Which is good since she's only going to be 14 - I could get into a LOT of legal trouble for that if we had the same taste, huh!?!) But, that wasn't my only moment - to realize that there is such a blessing in all of us being made in God's Image, but yet we are all unique... No, I got to go and clean a house in Orem. Which was good because I needed to have the money - BUT, even then, that was not the blessing. The Lord has been looking out for me - and on my way home, I had a Tire give me grief. Just 2 miles from my house I hear "Thwap, Thwap, Thwap, Thwap, Thwap, Snap" and then it's gone. I knew that it was a Tire on my car... I hadn't replaced tires in 2 years or so. (Probably longer) I knew that they were balled beyond belief. In fact, I have been driving on my spare because I just couldn't "Afford" new tires RIGHT NOW. So, I make it safely to a gas station. God was looking out for me again. The tire had not blown... tread was missing on the inside. BUT, better than that - he made it so that way the last paycheck that Rick got from Dell was enough to cover our bills AND we got 4 new tires. (AND we aren't dying!) I know... I can't believe it either... but, somehow that Law of Tithing seems to make things work.

Saturday - Well, like I said - I woke up with the comforter right with me... Rick called and the tires would be more than I expected. However, I didn't feel panicked by this. I felt calm and told him that I knew we would be fine and to go for it. I still wasn't so thrilled about the computer, but I knew we would be alright. I think that is a blessing that many of us Latter Day Saints over look. Something that we have with us all the time after we get baptized (Should we be living our lives worthily) - the Holy Ghost. And we all know that I don't do the best in stressful situations (Especially dealing with Money) But, I just FELT that it would be alright. I found out later that the man put on the 4 tires for quite a large discount. We really only could afford the two, but the other two were so had, and he said that he just couldn't let Rick drive away in an unsafe situation like that. So, he gave us all 4 tires, plus the balance and rotation, for the price of what 2 tires with balance and rotation would have run us on that car. Seems like a Small blessing, but that was my Saturday blessing. We were in desperate need of that help right then too. There were others (But I sense that this commentary is getting long, so I am going to rush through them)...

Sunday - Well, I was in the Primary again. And I got the best compliment that I have gotten in a long time. The Primary President said that she was so grateful that I was in Primary because she has NEVER (in the last 4 years) seen the kids sing so well, or so loud, in the Primary. She told me that the other music teachers have a hard time getting the kids involved and getting them to sing. I felt good about this because singing is a special talent that I have. My other sisters got Piano and Flute, but I got the vocals, and I am proud of that. I am even more grateful when I can use that to bring others the spirit, teach them how to sing reverently, teach them how to use their voice to display how they are feeling through music. It's all very important. A long time ago I heard someone say that Singing is almost like praying to Heavenly Father. Since I was better at that than delivering prayers, I really anchored myself to it. I love singing - and I truly feel that Heavenly Father listens to me each time I lift my voice in praise or reverence for Him.

Today is Monday - and though I had a FANTASTIC time at Christy's Softball / Family Home Evening Dinner Thingy - (Round Two was SAHWEET) - My blessing came when I took my computer to Jeremy to take a look. I was certain it was dead. I was discouraged because I just paid a lot of money for the tires on the car... I didn't know what I would do, and I am on the computer a lot... After much troubleshooting, it turns out that it wasn't the Motherboard - nor the video cards (And I have two in this computer)... but my Monitor was shot. It was a new one for me, and old one that Jeremy gave to me - but I still had my backup Monitor... after I plugged in the computer, it worked perfectly. All this time I thought that I was going to have another expenditure - something that I needed but just could not afford RIGHT NOW... and yet the Lord knew that I had just about had it with the financial tests over the last week - and I am certain that he turned something that could have been a HUGE problem, into something that was easily fixable for me during this time. I am so grateful to be so blessed and looked after. It's been a busy week, and I have kept it in my journal - I am sorry that it wasn't here - and I hope that you made it to the end of my "Journal Log"... Can't wait to see what tomorrow holds in store for moi!

Today was harder

2008-08-05T20:31:00.000-07:00

Well, we all know that I have been job hunting. And today was a bit harder for me to "see the hand of God"... but I did recognize it. I interviewed this morning with UHaul in Bountiful. Not exactly my "dream job" I know. But, my prayers were not for a "Dream Job". My prayers were for something that would work with my precarious schedule and allow me time to see my kids, while offsetting our bills and help out a little bit extra. This job seemed to be just right - not what I would have chosen for myself... true. But, when I was going over the fine details, it turns out that this is just a perfect fit. I had this idea that I would be in an office or something; and maybe I will be someday... but right now it looks like I am going to be hitching up trailers for people.

But, it gets better - we were looking for a job for Rick too. Not that teleperformance isn't the most glamours job to hit the resume of my sweetie, but just that it's not going to be forever. Turns out that UHaul is going to interview him as well. And the job that they are offering him is a lot better pay than where he is - and it is pretty comparable to what he had at Aaron's... but with better hours. So, hopefully that will pan out. But as far as things go for my helping out and having something flexible, today I was blessed with precisely that.

The Perfect Mate

2008-08-04T21:13:00.001-07:00

Well, though I know that Aislinn wrote about Tim, and how grateful she is to have him as a husband - aren't we all lucky - those of us who have found that person that completes us better than any other person can? Something that happened yesterday, that I didn't know until today, was just how blessed I am to have the man that I have. Yes, YES - I do admit that I almost turned him away. I admit that I told him that I could not marry him or be with him because he could not get me where I wanted to go. I admit that I had little faith in him. Part of me screamed because I wanted so badly to have an eternal marriage and family, and the other half screamed because I loved this man who held very few of the qualities that I was searching for. When I met him, I was on a serious path of destruction. I was getting divorced, I was partying a lot, and I was confused. Yet, he stood by me.

Over the last few years with him, I have not made the best relationship choices. I have not always done right by him. I have been diagnosed with level 2 bi-polar tendencies, and I am on medication now for several of those behaviors. During all of the things that I have done, Rick stood by my side. He never gave up on me. He always had faith that I would come around. He was supportive, nurturing, strong, and faithful. He was so many things for me that I can't even list them all - he was my everything. It took a great deal of medication and therapy before I realized just how badly I could have screwed things up with him. And I could have, I admit that.

Yesterday, he went and saw the bishop and did his MP interview. We were talking about this later on, and he said to me: "You know, the bishop asked me if things were O.K. between you and me." I thought to myself, how could they not be? Aren't we doing well? So, naturally, I asked "Well, aren't they?" And he clarified. He said "Well, what he meant was, have I forgiven you. Do you want to know what I told him?" And of course I did... "I told him that I forgave you the moment that you told me what happened." (And I cried.)

I am blessed to have a husband that loves me. A husband that understands my chemical imbalances. A husband that is willing to go to therapy with me, to calm me down, to talk me through things, and to forgive the terrible things that I have done without so much as a reminder that I hurt him so badly in my past. He never has once thrown it in my face. Never has he used my past against me. Never has he with-held his love for me. Little did I know 5 years ago (This week), that the man I was hotel hopping with, the one that I tried to turn away just before Christmas, would be the one person that would unconditionally love me for the rest of forever.

But, at least Heavenly Father knew that he matched me. For this, I will be eternally grateful, I know it.

Saturday is a Special day, it's the day we get ready for Sunday

2008-08-03T12:27:00.000-07:00

Well - I didn't write yesterday. Mostly because after I got home, I crashed out.

The lesson yesterday was how special mom's truly are. I mean, the Lord truly loves women and has given us the most incredible blessing - to bear and bring up his chosen children. Now, my children are growing and I tend to forget how they were when they were infants. Aislinn was gone for a few days, and I got the blessing of watching over her brood while she was away. This taught me a few things. 1) How easy it is to forget that our children USED to be infants. 2) That infants wake up VERY early. It is a blessing to care for someone else's children. Especially when one of those children is super dependant. I needed a good reminding about my own children, and how I am very needed no matter how big they get. Too often I find myself thinking that They are big enough to handle things on their own... I am not needed. Yesterday heavenly father woke me up very early (for the second day in a row) to remind me again that as a mom, I am always needed.

Today was fast and testimony meeting. I am grateful for these days, for they seem to be the easiest day for finding Heavenly Father's presence. I was called (On short SHORT notice) to lead the music in primary. As I was unprepared with any music or games, I found myself trying to fly by the seat of my pants. So, today not only did I get a great deal out of testimony meeting, but I was also humbled by being put back into the primary for a moment so I could help out. I did it for 18 months, and I had forgotten how hard it truly was. But, I am grateful that children do not judge like adults do. They were not worried that I didn't know the words to the welcome song. They didn't seem bothered that I had little sense of direction when it came to what we were doing. The spirit was so strong when you have a whole primary singing "Called to Serve". I changed the words to "Called to serve the children in Primary" and they all laughed. Heavenly Father knows just what needs to be done, and I am grateful that he made it so I could be in Primary today. But isn't that part of the church - to run smoothly even when people who are called are not able to make it due to vacations or illness? Another lightbulb comes on, and I love how everything works so perfectly when it's designed by God.

Day 5

2008-08-01T21:33:00.000-07:00

Well, aside from my lack of posting, things have been pretty eventful. Today was friday of the first week of my journaling efforts. It has been an interesting week with attempting to keep my eyes open, watching for my heavenly father's hand in my life.

I am grateful today, for the additonal protection that heavenly father gives to us on occasion. I notice this all the time, but rarely have I put it together. Everyone thinks that they are a good driver - I have never met a person that says "Man, I am the worst driver that ever existed". I have never met anyone that admitted that they were a terrible driver, or that they may not pay attention, or that they were more wreckless than other people. Typically, it's the other way around; typically, it's someone who is a bad driver that thinks that everyone else is terrible. Typically, they don't even pay any attention to what they are causing around them by their habits.

Today while I was driving to Sandy, with a vanful of children and husband, I noticed a car coming up from behind - weaving in and out of other cars in traffic. It wasn't necessary, just a person who was driving like a jerk. However, at the moment that I saw this car coming, I had the inkling that I needed to slow down and move the car to a slower lane. I did, and I watched as this driver continued to weave around, in and out of traffic through other cars. All the while I was thinking to myself, "BAH, what an idiot". (there's that whole judgment thing huh...)

A few miles up the road, I gratefully watched that car get pulled over by a UHP car. Then I wondered to myself, how many times have I felt the need to get out of the way when I saw cars like that. There have been a few times in my life where I have felt that need. There have been times when I have been driving, and something has happened where I got slowed down, or even stopped entirely. Each time I have had this prompting, I have been protected. My children have been protected. My family, my nieces, my nephews, have all been protected. I know that car that passed us was headed for a wreck, and bless the Lord that he got pulled over.

When I watch my nieces and nephews, I am super heightened. I am alert. It's a special thing to be left in the charge of someone else's children and infants... but moreso when they are family. I have always said that I would never forgive myself if one of my nieces or nephews who was left in my care were to get lost, stolen, hurt, or worse. And during times of driving I have found that I slow down a lot more... I am stricter with seat belts, and I am very cautious of other drivers. However, I love to listen to the radio, and I love to talk to other people when I am driving... and I am grateful that when I may not be paying as much attention as I should be, that the Lord sends the spirit to perk me up and make me look around.

Day 2, Day 3, Day 4

2008-08-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

So, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday came and went really fast - so fast that I didn't really have the opportunity to blog about what was noticed in my life on those days. Not that I didn't notice, but that I didn't have the chance to type it online. So, this will be slightly combined - I know that I am posting it on a Friday, but I don't have one for today just yet because I have only been up for a few hours and I haven't really been paying attention this morning...

So, on Tuesday I started to look for a job. I have always been really blessed in this area. Any time I have looked for a job I haven't felt overly discouraged because I hear back from prospective employers pretty quickly. I have noticed, over the last few months with our unsteady situation, that this is actually a very important thing. There are many people that put their resume out there and it just floats off into the never ending black hole of the internet. They rarely get responses to what they send, even if they are trying all the time. So, on Tuesday, I started to look for a job - and my Heavenly Father's hand was in the mix by having several prospective employers contact me back very quickly. This bolstered my confidence and helped me to not feel so uneasy about trying to enter back into the work force after so many years.

Then on Wednesday I had a job interview... another blessing. And though this is not my moment with Heavenly father, this is something that I feel I should share. To continue helping me to build my confience, my heavenly father had me interview with someone who served his mission in Jackson Mississippi/ Baton Rouge. It was 30 years ago that this man served his mission, but he recalled several of the people that I knew. I was so comfortable with this person. He even knew several of my music professors up at the U. So, we were able to talk and get to know each other fairly well. I was able to really feel comfortable with the interview process. Because this took a few days, I figured that it was good to put that my Heavenly father doesn't always do this right off - it's not always a strike of lightening, but sometimes it takes a few extra days to reveal what he wants for us to have. I am glad that I recognize that after looking back.

Wednesday was also my day that I got to go to the Bishop's Storehouse. What a blessing this is. This is truly where God touched me on Wednesday. After all, 30 lbs of apples is really a bit much. But, God know's what he's doing - right? In our struggles, we have had to humble ourselves and request for church assistance. We are to the point now where the church no longer needs to help with our bills, but they are still helping out with food when things get REALLY tight. Seeing the organization of the church in this manner - how it helps not only its members, but all people, is such an eye opener. This time I chose to go downtown to the Bishop Storehouse. I usually go to Kaysville, but this time I just happened to be Downtown. So, I went there. Yet, another blessing - the church is so organized that right in Welfare square there are Employment services, the DI, the storehouse, the cannery, and so many other things that are available to help those in need. I have always been humbled when I see how the church has such a perfect organization, but I am even more humbled when I see how it works for me and my family. Even when I haven't needed assistance, I have loved the D.I., and other things that the church provides. I was able to go to the employment services and have 2 job interviews while I was there - another thing that helped to bolster my confidence levels with this uneasy territory that I am embarking on.

Thursday was my fun day. It was Rick's day off of work and we had taken the girls (K and C) to Lagoon and to the movies. Now, there has been friction between me and the eldest, because I think that things should go a certain way, and she is just a kid and doesn't know which way things can go, and so there are many arguments that we have had. She is in town, and we are blessed to have her with us. But, it's hard to mend fences. Though we have pretty much gotten along since the first day that I saw her when I got back from Colordao, it's nice to build something more. I didn't want her to think that it was a "one time, aonika being nice" sort of thing. But I also know that to change someone's heart, there has to be a willingness and a spirit there. So, yesterday Rick went with Kennedy on a ride and I spent a little extra time with Circe. It was bonding moment, where we were able to laugh about "emo" boys, and stuff that she "would never tell my mom!". And I began to realize that it wouldn't have been possible if the conditions hadn't been just right. Mostly because it has been a very touchy situation. But, I have prayed and prayed for a very long time that there would be opportunities to build a better relationsihp with the oldest child, and it was very gently presented to me yesterday. A nice, informal setting, where a 14 year old could feel comfortable enough to be herself, and to mend things with me just a little bit more.

The Lord works in mysterious ways - and I am grateful that I glimpse some of those ways every now and then. I like to make things go my way, but I have noticed that if I just let him touch things a little bit and let them go His way, it seems go much smoother.

Day 1

2008-07-28T20:17:00.001-07:00

So, my friends and family have decided that they would start blogs to show God's hand in their lives. I thought that this was a good idea so, I too decided to begin one.

This is Day 1 for me. Today I went to my friend Christy's house to pick apricots. We were to make Jam and I have recently been blessed to learn the art of canning, so I gave it a go. Today, I discovered God's hand in my life on a very simple thing that I ask for continuously, and many times think that I haven't received it.

My heavenly father has blessed me with two very close friends. Two people, women, ladies, that I can laugh with, cry with, confide in, and love. Many times have I prayed to just have one or two people that I can be close to. Many times I feel alienated and left out for reasons that I am unsure of. Part of my depression is because I don't have those close bonds and I long for them.

As I looked up from the tarp I was holding, to catch falling apricots, I saw my sister smiling, and my Christy - standing in a tree, shaking the limbs with her "special tool". I had to laugh at how wonderful it was to be blessed in this manner. Friends and family are true blessings, and many times I take them for granted. I love being blessed with sisters who stand by me and help me through, and friends like Christy, who are unique and special, and help me to smile and not feel so alone.

Thank you Today, Heavenly Father, for blessing me with true friends and sisters.