Well, though I know that Aislinn wrote about Tim, and how grateful she is to have him as a husband - aren't we all lucky - those of us who have found that person that completes us better than any other person can? Something that happened yesterday, that I didn't know until today, was just how blessed I am to have the man that I have. Yes, YES - I do admit that I almost turned him away. I admit that I told him that I could not marry him or be with him because he could not get me where I wanted to go. I admit that I had little faith in him. Part of me screamed because I wanted so badly to have an eternal marriage and family, and the other half screamed because I loved this man who held very few of the qualities that I was searching for. When I met him, I was on a serious path of destruction. I was getting divorced, I was partying a lot, and I was confused. Yet, he stood by me.Over the last few years with him, I have not made the best relationship choices. I have not always done right by him. I have been diagnosed with level 2 bi-polar tendencies, and I am on medication now for several of those behaviors. During all of the things that I have done, Rick stood by my side. He never gave up on me. He always had faith that I would come around. He was supportive, nurturing, strong, and faithful. He was so many things for me that I can't even list them all - he was my everything. It took a great deal of medication and therapy before I realized just how badly I could have screwed things up with him. And I could have, I admit that.
Yesterday, he went and saw the bishop and did his MP interview. We were talking about this later on, and he said to me: "You know, the bishop asked me if things were O.K. between you and me." I thought to myself, how could they not be? Aren't we doing well? So, naturally, I asked "Well, aren't they?" And he clarified. He said "Well, what he meant was, have I forgiven you. Do you want to know what I told him?" And of course I did... "I told him that I forgave you the moment that you told me what happened." (And I cried.)
I am blessed to have a husband that loves me. A husband that understands my chemical imbalances. A husband that is willing to go to therapy with me, to calm me down, to talk me through things, and to forgive the terrible things that I have done without so much as a reminder that I hurt him so badly in my past. He never has once thrown it in my face. Never has he used my past against me. Never has he with-held his love for me. Little did I know 5 years ago (This week), that the man I was hotel hopping with, the one that I tried to turn away just before Christmas, would be the one person that would unconditionally love me for the rest of forever.
But, at least Heavenly Father knew that he matched me. For this, I will be eternally grateful, I know it.
